Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I filed for divorce on Wed. The stbx is still messing with the kids minds since he can't get to mine any longer.
*My 15 year old was with him on Thanksgiving. My 20 year old was at my house 1 mile away. He refused to pick her up (she has no car) to take her to his side of Thanksgiving forcing her to walk in the cold rain if she wanted to go with him. She did it. She walked in the rain with her cake she made. I was already gone or I would have taken her.
*The very next day he offers to take her and her friend to the mall for black Friday. When he does he drops her off a mile away and then said he couldn't pick them up. He ended up picking them up but again makes her walk a mile or so to a meeting spot.
*My 15 year old's birthday was yesterday. He was with me for the afternoon and called to ask his dad if he could skip youth group. His dad said it is up to my son (Trey) just call and let him know. So my son called him back and said yes he wanted to skip. Then the stbx said no he couldn't and made him go. The only reason I let the conversation even go on is because I was dropping him off, dad was picking him up.
Just frustrated to see my kids jerked around. He is still playing the "I love you" one day and "you aren't worth picking up" the next. You can make your own decisions but they better be the same as his or tough luck.
Again just venting! Still a MUCH better holiday than usual!! LOL!
*My 15 year old was with him on Thanksgiving. My 20 year old was at my house 1 mile away. He refused to pick her up (she has no car) to take her to his side of Thanksgiving forcing her to walk in the cold rain if she wanted to go with him. She did it. She walked in the rain with her cake she made. I was already gone or I would have taken her.
*The very next day he offers to take her and her friend to the mall for black Friday. When he does he drops her off a mile away and then said he couldn't pick them up. He ended up picking them up but again makes her walk a mile or so to a meeting spot.
*My 15 year old's birthday was yesterday. He was with me for the afternoon and called to ask his dad if he could skip youth group. His dad said it is up to my son (Trey) just call and let him know. So my son called him back and said yes he wanted to skip. Then the stbx said no he couldn't and made him go. The only reason I let the conversation even go on is because I was dropping him off, dad was picking him up.
Just frustrated to see my kids jerked around. He is still playing the "I love you" one day and "you aren't worth picking up" the next. You can make your own decisions but they better be the same as his or tough luck.
Again just venting! Still a MUCH better holiday than usual!! LOL!
There is no way a loving, compassionate person would allow their child to walk in the rain if they could help it. Especially to a holiday gathering where everyone is practicing the art of being THANKFUL!
It may be time to explain to your children the experiences they will be facing down this road with him. Your kids are older but they still need tools to cope.
There's a good book by Lundy Bancroft called When Dad Hurts Mom. It's very insightful when dealing with abuser and kids are involved. It may help you to explain to your kids what is happening and how they could be affected by him even after the break up.
You will have to be really firm with the STBX concerning your children. He really should not be able to make any decisions concerning their care or choices right now. He's too irrational and insidious! Obviously! He crushed both of your children in the same weekend. Jerk!
Good job on taking your life back and filing for divorce. I wish you the best and will be right behind you very soon!