There is something about these types that makes them set themselves up, because of their ridiculous need to brag about outsmarting their victims. Pay close attention during these two months and guard your information. I think you can expect a rather obvious attempt for retaliation from him during these two months.

Disi that's what I think too. My concern is he will try to get me arrested and screw up my trip. But I gave the wrong dates just in case. I said I was leaving three days earlier. Which basically I am. I'm staying at a gf's house and leaving from there. Also I have not been going anywhere without a group of friends. Only thing I do alone is food shop. Stores have cameras in parking lots and store. He can make stuff up. My friends have been wonderful. Everyday they call or offer to come over. When we go to dinner it's to a place one of my friends brothers run security. So I'm doing my best to protect myself. At home I have my middle son living here for the time being. Other thing I do it making sure on my fb I tag where I am and with who and take photos at time stamped proof. It's crazy living like this

I could easily empathize with you, I felt irritation just reading about what he did. It's crazy living like this, but it's important to stay safe while he is taking all these risks and being reckless with his life.
You may have said things about dropping the RO but things change and this guy has shown you how much by exposing his true nature in stages.
Hang in there. He won't win.

Disi I'm just unsure how to explain why I was willing to drop it. I don't want the judge thinking I took the RO lightly

It is not about taking the RO lightly. It is about thinking you are in a relationship and you can work and fix your issues. Because you are emotionally and physically attached to him with property. But he made that impossible for you and showed you who he really is. And you had to take action to protect yourself. You did not know then what you know now and it is understandable.

We spoke here about keeping the emails from them for instance. That the urge is to delete it when you are in a relationship with them, but then it becomes evidence when the fog clears and the relationship is over.

@ give
Don't fall for it!
He is also a gaslighter. Google that word.
I am married to one. And it isn't fun.
He doesn't care about how he treats you....so TRY not to care for him. Its hars I know. But YOU are better off without him and all his mess. Think about it.
L

What does RO mean?
Anyway, he sounds bad. Watch your back at all times. Never give dates of things you have to go to... if you do..make them a week LATER, not earlier. It throws them off a bit.
Its a good thing you have friends....
what country you going to? I hope.they are not having problems there. Many are now...
L.

Thank you ladies. An RO is a restraining order. I can't harass him. Imagine that? He's just being vindictive because I have a permanent one on him. In any case I have all the emails and texts and phone log. I just wasn't sure how to cover my will to drop it as per legal advice to get my home back.

I'm going to the Dominican Rep. Hopefully it's peaceful there. I need it so badly.

And yes I have need gas lighted the whole time. He's good at it since he's a crackhead psych nurse who also exposed me to Heo c and never told me. Thank God I didn't contract it. But the a hole could have killed me

My take on that is that he works in a place where people are "corrected" and that is what he is trying to do to you. Only that he abused his power and made threats to you physical and verbal to hospitalize you that obviously prevented you from acting logically and the way you really wanted to act. He intimidated you.
If you have been to a counselor during this time, maybe you can get them to write a letter with what happened.
It is ridiculous that he filed a RO and it does sound like revenge and the truth will come to light.

Sounds like a gaslighter to me....
He is just trying to make you look like the bad one...when it is HIM.
Document everything..and dates, times.

disi....your reply nailed it. Its exactly what he was doing to me. He said so many times he would have me committed to a psych ward...or he would make up charges to have me removed from my home and he would get to keep it. Everyday I would talk with my sister who was my sounding board. She would beg me to get him out. He isn't the type to just leave. Especially when he was handed a house for free.

I deleted all my old texts to him. And one I had from his daughter stating she hated seeing how he treated me. I wish I had those. I tried a program to recover them...but it didn't work. I am not sure if I restore my phone they will come back. I am going to try that next.

I didn't see a counselor then. I prob should have. My Dad had passed away when I first met him. I was vulnerable to his manipulation...wasn't thinking clearly. I know I had just lost the most important man in my life. What a creep to prey on me then.

I do have a letter from my family doctor. I went for extreme anxiety the day after he hit me. So the doctors letter say I was in a state of extreme stress caused by my bf. He has had me come back three times since to be sure I was ok.

Other then this court case and trying to resolve my house...I am doing well. Everyday is easier and happier without him. But stopping my mind from overthinking all this is making me crazy. Its like I play out every scenario in my head. Everyone says relax until then...but I can't. I know him...if he is granted this RO he will make my life hell.

Please make sure your phone is safely backed up before you restore it. Have you called your phone service provider to see if you they can retrieve the old texts? They may require your attorney to request it, but it would be worth it if they can.

Also, if you have any journals you wrote during that time, they might be allowed an accepted as proof of his abuse.

I would hope that the fact you already have a permanent RO against him would be in your favor and make him look like he's just retaliating.

I hope it all works out in your favor. Please keep us posted.

I just thought that the diagnosis is given on the basis of a description of certain behaviors the person exhibits (these professionals cannot know the person's inner self) and when you have an abuser like that, he will bring up the behaviors you exhibit when you are mad at him or sad, just in a low place and build a profile on you. "You see, she like this and that""...and then he could portray the victim.
When you take control over your emotions you will be able to control the behavior and he will fall.
I am glad you are doing well besides that.

I want to have faith in our justice system. I am trying to have faith that this judge will see he never showed up his court date to defend himself from all the harassing behavior he claims I did. I hope she sees that only after I filed a police report and risk arrest did he go file one to use the court system to further abuse me. If I abused him so much on his moving day with a police presence why didn't the police write that up on the report that I have a copy of. Actually I have two that state none. Yet the third one was filed the day after he got a call from the police. Here he states I've been abusive since day one. I'm trying to have faith that pleading my case will drop this. I am hoping what he does for a living doesn't sway things his way. Because that would just make him feel so good knowing he could manipulate a very smart judge.

Print out the information on gaslighters. Show it to your lawyer, doctor and judge. Many are not aware of what this is.
He is playing you, trying to have you committed so that he can.have your house.
It isn't that easy for someone to have you committed.Plus they have to evaluate you first.
This guy is NOT playing games. And he isn't scared. Drugs do that to people.
I am sorry he has taken advantage of you. You did not need or deserve that! This guy isn't scared.....he is demented.
He wants a new drug house for him and all his friends. Seriously.