Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I signed the divorce papers today and they are being mailed to him.
I feel good about it, because I know it is the right decision.
I feel relieved because now my children and I will have some legal protection at last.
I feel terrified of how he is going to react.
I feel disappointed because he's in a honeymoon phase right now and it's such a shame to interrupt it when he's being nice.
I feel deep grief that our marriage couldn't work, as awful and frightening as he is there are times that I miss him.
I just hope he handles it well and I want it all to be over.
I feel good about it, because I know it is the right decision.
I feel relieved because now my children and I will have some legal protection at last.
I feel terrified of how he is going to react.
I feel disappointed because he's in a honeymoon phase right now and it's such a shame to interrupt it when he's being nice.
I feel deep grief that our marriage couldn't work, as awful and frightening as he is there are times that I miss him.
I just hope he handles it well and I want it all to be over.
I know that you miss him at times too and the marriage. it's all going to get better and you are doing the right thing.
unfortunately, if you start to feel guilty or very sad, just think about how he created this situation. "you reap what you sow".
I'm never going back, I'm clear on that point. But sure, there are times when I do miss the good parts and happy memories. Or maybe I miss what could have been. Maybe only people who have been there know what I am talking about - I know I made the mistake of mentioning this once in a divorce support group (not here, a local in-person one) and was really jumped on by several people who just couldn't understand how on earth I could be so stupid as to stay with an abuser. You know the kind. Well I got out, and I'm not stupid, and hating what he did to us doesn't mean I don't miss him sometimes.
Anyway. That was kind of an unexpected tangent!
I really like my lawyer, she's very experienced in DV / narcissist cases, and I like the way she has handled it - she wrote a very nice, appealing letter to him along with the summons offering to answer any of his questions (without giving him legal advice.) Her deal is to act extremely calm and friendly towards him, super agreeable, listen to all his complaints about me, and then doing all the tough legal stuff quietly. Our hope is this helpful, soothing approach doesn't trigger any of his adversarial or narc buttons. If he feels catered to, IMO he will handle it well. Just in case though, I'm prepped physically and financially.
Who would have guessed our lives would come to this?