Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So...many have told me that I was dealing not just with a socio/psychopath but a true narcissist.
I have tried looking into his behavior but I have also looked into some of his choices.
I have NOTHING against anyone who decides to make this choice for themselves but...
Did anyone date a narcissist who was particularly into the way he looked and criticized others on how they looked?
So, my ex, physically was a beautiful man and I'm not an expert. I tend to ignore these things but unfortunately I did grow up with a very insecure mother/sister who were really into plastic surgery and looks and materialism in general. I knew my ex had gotten all of his teeth done but my family pointed out that his nose was heavily done. So, my ex got plastic surgery and did all of his teeth...which is interesting. Because he complained to me how his ex wife (who he talked trash about nearly every time I saw him got her nosejob PAID FOR by his family- by the way what was he doing telling me about her nosejob? Why is that my business????) I found it really weird...why would his family pay for her nosejob?
He also told me he has a fear of people with bad teeth. And that hes REALLY into teeth (without mentioning of course the fact that all of his teeth were fake. He never brought it up to me, never mentioned his nose job or anything. Of course, its not my business but it was obvious to see his teeth were done (and according to my family his nose). I loved him anyway...it didnt bother me..until it came to my attention that he was an overall narcissist and just criticized people constantly for how they looked.
After my first date with him I slept with him (my mistake) and when I woke the next morning, he had a girl there in his living room who was staying there to watch his dog while he was out of town (he just got back into town). When we walked outside he was like- Shes so fat isnt she? She's so gross.
She was so sweet and was gorgeous..I found his words to be SO upfront and harsh but I didn't say anything because he already glazed me over with his lovey dovey comments about me.
There were times where he uncomfortably told me I was "prettier" than his ex wife. I remember one time I was out with my friends and he was out with his and he texts me "Theres this girl here at the bar wearing beetlejuice pants. So fucking ugly"
He also always told me that it bothered him that my diamond earrings I got as a gift from my parents for my graduation weren't "clean enough," when I showed him a picture of my sister he spent like five minutes commenting on how obvious her nose job was and then one morning when we woke up and I was laying in bed (of course begging him to come cuddle with me- he would rather be sitting on his phone on Instagram) and he goes..oh my god my sister in law is so fat she looks like a whale standing next to her husband. And then told me how he texted BOTH of his brothers making fun of her and how "fat" she looked. I remember I looked at him and was like....how would you feel if one of your brothers talked that way about me?! And he said..you just don't understand my humor. My phone family is up front like this. Its just our humor.
Oh god. Thinking of all this makes me sick.
I have tried looking into his behavior but I have also looked into some of his choices.
I have NOTHING against anyone who decides to make this choice for themselves but...
Did anyone date a narcissist who was particularly into the way he looked and criticized others on how they looked?
So, my ex, physically was a beautiful man and I'm not an expert. I tend to ignore these things but unfortunately I did grow up with a very insecure mother/sister who were really into plastic surgery and looks and materialism in general. I knew my ex had gotten all of his teeth done but my family pointed out that his nose was heavily done. So, my ex got plastic surgery and did all of his teeth...which is interesting. Because he complained to me how his ex wife (who he talked trash about nearly every time I saw him got her nosejob PAID FOR by his family- by the way what was he doing telling me about her nosejob? Why is that my business????) I found it really weird...why would his family pay for her nosejob?
He also told me he has a fear of people with bad teeth. And that hes REALLY into teeth (without mentioning of course the fact that all of his teeth were fake. He never brought it up to me, never mentioned his nose job or anything. Of course, its not my business but it was obvious to see his teeth were done (and according to my family his nose). I loved him anyway...it didnt bother me..until it came to my attention that he was an overall narcissist and just criticized people constantly for how they looked.
After my first date with him I slept with him (my mistake) and when I woke the next morning, he had a girl there in his living room who was staying there to watch his dog while he was out of town (he just got back into town). When we walked outside he was like- Shes so fat isnt she? She's so gross.
She was so sweet and was gorgeous..I found his words to be SO upfront and harsh but I didn't say anything because he already glazed me over with his lovey dovey comments about me.
There were times where he uncomfortably told me I was "prettier" than his ex wife. I remember one time I was out with my friends and he was out with his and he texts me "Theres this girl here at the bar wearing beetlejuice pants. So fucking ugly"
He also always told me that it bothered him that my diamond earrings I got as a gift from my parents for my graduation weren't "clean enough," when I showed him a picture of my sister he spent like five minutes commenting on how obvious her nose job was and then one morning when we woke up and I was laying in bed (of course begging him to come cuddle with me- he would rather be sitting on his phone on Instagram) and he goes..oh my god my sister in law is so fat she looks like a whale standing next to her husband. And then told me how he texted BOTH of his brothers making fun of her and how "fat" she looked. I remember I looked at him and was like....how would you feel if one of your brothers talked that way about me?! And he said..you just don't understand my humor. My phone family is up front like this. Its just our humor.
Oh god. Thinking of all this makes me sick.
"Let the bridges I burn light the way."
I agree- run!
The last time I saw him, after trying numerous times of getting back together and chasing after him and texting him begging for him to listen to me he invited me over, used me for sex, and I never heard from him again.
So I had to learn what its like to "leave" someone the hard way.
He kind of just left me in the dust.
But its better it happened a few months ago rather than a few years from now. I'm starting to stop blaming myself and feeling guilt about the end of our relationship and understand and see now what a terrible person I was dealing with...