Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi, I am in what is becoming a gravely abusive situation. Since it is by a parent and not a partner (I am 24), I was told by shelter counselor that I may not be eligible for shelters. I will try (I also don't have a car, or a job, so could get stuck somewhere super easily). ANY input/advice would be much appreciated. I often feel suicidal because I am just so overwhelmed. This parent was severely emotionally abusive (worst temper ever) and borderline physically abusive for several years. The family has minimized it and been in denial; they have been the victims as well, but I was the "it" child--I have really gotten it the worst, by far. Now that this parent's abusive behavior has skyrocketed to a life-threatening dangerous place, which has been almost unimaginable for me to see--the family REALLY cannot see/believe what's going on (my siblings live afar now). Nor can any of our friends (most of them are friends with the family, I grew up in a tight religious group which I stopped being a part of, and even they wouldn't believe it of her). It feels like my only options are to wait till something happens (which would be eXtremely dangerous, this parent was just telling me about how they are basically struggling with 'the devil' against the desire to throw knives at my head), or TRY to leave (though resourceless and virtually friendless :/). They have been too frickin' smart to hit me or beat me, although they used to threaten to. They know they could get in trouble, so instead there's all this pent up rage waiting to burst in unbelievable ways (they've attempted some seriously dangerous things to me that have been very close calls). Don't know what to do or how to emotionally get through this. I left home for a while before, and they grew stalkerish. (Didn't have any serious history to get a restraining order against them though.)
I am sorry you are in so much pain. I had to leave my abusive home when I was 16. I literally just left, walked out the door and did not contact my family for several years.
I waited until no one was home, packed up as much of my stuff as I could carry and left. I had no money, no job and at 16 was under the legal age to rent an apartment ect. I stayed with friends and worked odd jobs until I could find work. I eventually put myself through college and started my own business.
You don't have to live a life of imprisonment just because someone gave birth to you. Just leave. Work on a plan, and stick to it. You don't have to have all the answers right away. When you are away from the situation, you will be able to see things more clearly.
Also, the shelters don't need to know it isn't a spouse! ;) I don't advocate lying in general, but I think that in this situation your safety comes first.
Take care of yourself!!!!
Domestic abuse
is domestic abuse.
I'm not convinced that
what the counselor told
you is totally true. I'd
absolutely speak to
a different counselor.
If that doesn't work, cross
the border into Connecticut
and try there.
Another option is to plug
into your state's department
of social services.
They're set up to protect
people in dangerous
situations, like yours.
Please be persistent
till you get the help
you need and to which
you're entitled.
Please take
good care of yourself!!!!
I also recommend that you see a psychiatrist to get better meds for anxiety. Taking xanax for anxiety is unhealthy on several different levels. I take paxil for anxiety and it helps me a great deal.
I agree with freedom and Ilene. Work on yourself so you can get find a job and get out of the toxic environment in which you live. Because you live in a major metro area, you have many choices available to you.
Hugs to you for better days ahead.