Congratulations on leaving the situation. I get flashbacks and ruminate a lot when I am bored. When I am bored it's my cue to take action and take care of me: exercise, a nap, a friend to call ---anything but stay "in my head".

I agree, I need to keep myself as busy as possible to minimize any possibility of the painful memories. I think that as time passes, the bad memories will fade, I will heal, and life will begin to become much more enjoyable.

I am glad that I am in my early 30's and decided to end abusive family relationships instead of staying in them. I still have the rest of my life to make things new.

I FEEL SO STRONG!!

Good for you.

You're making so
many good choices
in regards to moving
away from being abused.

A word of caution, though.

Time away from abuse
and keeping very busy --- alone ----

generally doesn't serve to
process the injuries from
abuse.

Self-care is essential.
And to help process the
injuries that result from
being abused, working
with a qualified therapist
is usually essential.

I hope you'll consider
integrating that step as
a part of your recovery
plan. It's helped many
of us, enormously and
doesn't generally, have
a down-side, (other
than the cost).

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
healing and
satisfaction
going forward.

I agree Ilene. Isolation is not good. I believe there is that fine line between quiet time to ourselves- enjoying our own company--meditating or going for a walk --but purposefully isolating to cope is not good.

I find my mind likes to play tricks on me- distort the reality of things etc. I'm not sure why I do that...maybe its because I blame myself. Feel like I'm not good enough deep down. I agree therapy is crucial but if money gets in the way there are always community support groups that are free.

Thanks for making me think about that.

I second Ilene's suggestion to integrate therapy into your self-care.

It is critical to find a qualified therapist who has additional training in recovery from trauma/abuse. In order to move on, IMHO, the right therapy is necessary. The longer you were abused, the longer it will take to heal. But it is possible.

After a lifetime of abuse and countless therapists who weren't educated or qualified when it comes to recovery from abuse/trauma, I finally found a trauma release therapist. Six years later of fairly regular therapy, I am a so much better.

If you go to a group, make sure there is a QUALIFIED therapist leading it. In my experience, it doesn't help much to just rehash what happened without a HEALING COMPONENT in each session.

Take good care of yourself. Trust your inner knowing and love yourself above all others.

~healing hugs~

The right therapist means everything!

Well said MTC's

Thanks for your input guys. I will try to find a qualified therapist who specializes specifically in abuse counselling. I suspected I needed it to move on fully with my life. You guys have reaffirmed that.