Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am hurting so badly tonight. When will this pain subside? Its been 31 days since we broke up, 24 days since I sent him a closure letter and began NO CONTACT, and 8 days since he sent me his vicious, hateful response. I KNOW I cant contact him, but those texts he sent have ruined my week. I feel like I took 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I miss the good him so much I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I prayed and wished for my closure for the first 3 weeks we did not speak and when he contacted me it was to tell me to, fuck off among so many other atrocities. He also said during this tirade of hate texts that it was my last chance for my fucking closure but also fuck my closure. Now my heart is still left with a gaping, aching hole and I still dont have a resolution. Not only do I not have closure, Im left with his hate filled words filling up my head, again. Hes the one had the violent temper, He's the one who siad he was going to "bury you bitch", he's the one who kicked dents in my car, hes the one who lied about working on himself while dating other women. And he tells me, I hate you. Should I have answered then and tried to diffuse him so we could talk? Now Im left with that. Could I have fixed things then? Was that my chance? How could it have been while every other text from him was ,"bitch", fuck you or piss off. Nothing good would have come from it. He would of tried to hurt me again, blame me again for everything. I know I'm on the right path, but this so so painful.
Another sucky thing about abusers is that there is no closure WITH them. The closure must come from within you and WITHOUT him. And no, it is extremely unlikely that you could have done anything to diffuse him or fix things. The best thing you did was go total No Contact. And the great thing about NC is that if you break it, you can start back right away. :-)
The longer you stay away from him, the more you will get back to you and realize its really not you, its him.
If you aren't already, please consider going into therapy w/a qualified therapist who has additional training in recovery from trauma & abuse. And trust yourself above all others!
~healing hugs~
I studied my abusive relationship and took away his power over me at least no depending on him to tell me why or what happened. I know why and I know what happened.