No.

You are in charge of your own actions.

I'm sorry that you've had to go through this, but no matter how angry you are, violence isn't the answer.

Besides, writing this out here, should you act violently in the future, which of course i hope you don't, it could be construed as "premeditation", as you're even trying to drum up a future defense.

I don't know your story, but if this is an "ex", why are you not NC?

Peace!

Based solely on what I read here, I respectfully disagree with pretty much everything you said.

To answer your last question, it would NOT be entrapment. Having an order against you doesn't mean you are an accident waiting to happen, even if it wasn't deserved.

When you cry entrapment, because you become/enact "an accident waiting to happen" that is NOT taking responsibility for your actions BUT it is blaming someone else. Just because you're in what you consider to be an unfair situation doesn't exonerate you from your CHOICE of actions.

We ALWAYS HAVE AT LEAST TWO CHOICES. We may not like either option, but there are always at least two. Yes or no, do it or don't do it etc. So you can chose to be the accident that happens or you can choose to NOT be the accident. Either way, IMHO, you are the only one responsible for your actions.

I also disagree with this:

"I agree that woman bashing men are the pits, however worse still is a female who repeatedly allows such abuse of her to happen."

To say that it's worse that a female repeatedly allows such abuse of her to happen tells me that it might be helpful if you educated yourself a little more about the dynamics and affects of abuse.


There are many reasons why abuse victims, including men, stay, not the least of which is fear of recrimination, physical injury and the threat of death to them and/or other children.

Then there are the psychological affects of abuse that cause the hippocampus to shrink. One of the things that happens is that the person loses sight of the ability to see all the choices available to them.

There is also the fact that the recipient of abuse ends up having such low self esteem that s/he doesn't think s/he can make it on their own.

Also, there are many times that there aren't any supportive resources available to them.

just to name a few.

Please don't be so quick to judge...

Rest assured I have no intention of assaulting my ex unless in self defense, and that is simply not going to happen either. She is no saint in this though, the first breach of Order was committed by her and the law for whatever reason chose to ignore it, she breached a second time, and again was permitted to.

I feel I am painted as the villain in this piece, and of the two respondents so far no mention was made of the ex's abusive nephew, he is the woman basher whereas I never have been. Ignorance is bliss I guess.

I am no expert on why females condone abuse of themselves, I make a face value evaluation and fail to support it, and if that is a shortsighted view, and a wrong one as well then so be it.

Self respect is key to living a healthy lifestyle, I acknowledge therefore that self disrespect is for some a preferred or alternative choice albeit an unhappy one, I think.

Regardless of who breached the order first, second or got in trouble for it or not. You two can't get along so stay away from each other. It's as simple as that.

Blame is for God and Children, the rest of us just need to figure out where we are now, and what is the next "right" thing to do.

I am sorry if you are being made out to be the evil one without justification. If that is true you are the person being abused here and need to stay the heck away from your abuser for your own good.

Violence is NEVER okay except in self-defense.

It would not be entrapment. You are an adult, not three years old, you are responsible for your actions, and reactions.

As one of the 2 respondents you mention, i have to state that the nephew and his behavior had nothing to do with your ?, which is why i had no reason to bring him up. "Ignorance is bliss"? Trust me, sir, i am far from "ignorant".

I also note that YOU didn't answer the ? i asked. "If this is an "ex", why are you not NC".

Seems to me that you don't have any time to fret over womens self esteem or lack thereof when you keep getting into trouble with the law and blaming others for your situation. Maybe take the time to work out your own issues.

GL!

Of course everyone is entitled to have their opinion. It's your choice to continue to make judgments based on lack of information.

Your profile says that you are here:
"To offer and receive support. I am a victim of childhood physical abuse, and it was recommended by a friend on here that I join."

I am so sorry you were a victim of abuse as a child. That said, I highly recommend you get therapy and educate yourself not only about what the long lasting effects of abuse are, but also what it means to be supportive. Coming into this group and blaming the victims, saying women condone abuse is not what I consider being supportive.


You said:
"Rest assured I have no intention of assaulting my ex unless in self defense, and that is simply not going to happen either."

Then why bring it up?

When YOU knowingly put yourself in possible harms way, YOU are just as responsible for your actions because you could have easily avoided the possibility as qwit suggested. PLUS you would be breaking the order. That puts you in the wrong legally. Just because you think the order is unfair, doesn't mean you have the right to break it. (That's called a sense of entitlement.)

If you think its unfair, go to court and fight it.


You said:
"I am no expert on why females condone abuse of themselves,"

You sir are quite presumptuous! And I a offended by that statement. Of course you are free to ASSUME whatever you want. BUT, I must respectfully say you are so wrong. And I actually explained why in my previous response so will not repeat myself here.

Until you stop making judgments about people in situations you know nothing about and you choose NOT to educate yourself, I am afraid you will find very few in this forum who will agree with you. Nor will they take your 'side' and say you are justified.


In terms of what you said about the responses here so far, I can only speak for myself.

Had you only spoken about your ex's abusive nephew w/o blaming his victim, I would have responded very differently. However, IMHO, you shifted the blame away from him and focused on blaming his victim AND other victims in general, specifically women, for staying and/or not reporting.

And while I support your right to speak your opinion, I most vehemently disagree.

I sincerely apologize for writing this post, it was not my intention to offend anybody, and I will resist from making comment within this group ever again.

LittleLucyX3, re your PTSD reference, I am sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about. I have a child of my own who is a victim of rape, and supporting the abuser is something I have never done nor will ever do. A case of mistaken identity I suspect.

I do not have the recourses to fight a legal battle, if I had so my story here would have been a whole lot different, thanks for the suggestion though.

And for the record I suffer a mental illness and am being treated for it, and yes I contracted my illness from my ex, rather ironic to say the least as far as I'm concerned.