Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am very nervous because I am leaving to go on vacation with my Mom and I am leaving my two boys home with their Dad. Dh has been getting very angry with our 13 year old boy and I am afraid that if there is a confrontation while I am gone, that neither one of them will back down. Also, my 8 year old was in tear asking me why I had to go. I hate not being able to leave them and feel ok with it. I do not trust my dh to take care of them and be loving and not abusive. My step daughter who is 23 is taking them tonight, but they will be with their Dad the rest of the 5 days I am gone. What person in their right mind goes toe to toe with a 13 year old over having to be right all the time? Sometimes it is over the smallest stuff that really does not matter. Usually, if dh asks our son to do anything, he won't even respond until I ask him and then he says "Ok, Mom" and does it. I feel like I am protecting them and now I won't be here. I even went so far as to tell my 13 year old to not push his Dad's buttons and he grinned and said why. I told him that I did not want his dad to get angry and loose control. he just grinned and laughed. I feel like I am barely holding everyone together by a thread and while I am gone it may all fall apart. I am exhausted
I also just booked a trip and after last night I am am so nervous about leaving them alone.
However, I do know that I need fun time away from the kids and that most likely nothing will happen. But I get so resentful when things are so unnecessarily difficult.
I'm also trying to be aware that they are going to have a relationship no matter what I do I cannot control others... I'm just trying to get my oldest son to realize that he has to just give in and then do his own thing once my husband moves on to the next person/situation or thing.
I think you going on a trip without everyone is a very good thing. If your husband does drink as well I highly recommend al anon.
Give it a shot and try a couple of meetings... it changed my life and gave me a new strength to not care about my husband's abuse.
I also now know without any doubt that divorce will have to happen. It is sad but will be the best for all of us.
Go on vacation and try to relax. You deserve it and the kids will benefit from a rested mom when you get back. It will give you the strength you need. You may want to consider seeing a counselor s well as one for the kids.
The night I watched my husband stand toe to toe with our 11 year old, screaming, yelling, cursing and holding his hands at his side daring his son to hit him, is the night I took off my wedding rings and knew it was time to leave. If your 13 year old is behaving like you say, he needs to get some help too. Hugs to you.