Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
my story-married to man for five years. He was married before with young daughter; divorced when she was 1. we have two kids. He also had a broken engagement and lost his brother to cancer before we met.
my husbamd has so much damage. He is very closed off and desperate to be loved but pushes me sexually and emotionally where I'm not comfortable.
If if I ever say anything I always just need to calm down, stop complaining, etc. then the names start. Stupid monkey. Fucking retard. So fucking annoying. Class a bitch. Bulldog.
Will not break up marriage due to my kids but how do I handle the abuse. We tried counseling but he bailed when it got too close.
Every other part of my life is great- my kids, career, family friends. I'm just miserable with him....
i
Also, sorry to tell you that
there is no way to "handle"
abuse.
It will ultimately destroy you.
Also, please note that
raising children under
the roof of abuse will
destroy those children,
also. Even if they are
not the direct targets,
decades of studies
have shown that
children who witness
abuse, absorb what
they see and hear,
and are damaged
for the rest of their
lives.
Now, when they are
young, is the best
time to take steps
to prevent that from
happening to them
(and to their children
and then their
children's children).
Stay if that's your
decision, but do
that knowing that
there is no way for
either you or you
children to live in
this kind of toxic
relationship, without
being damaged and
ultimately, destroyed.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
safety, clarity
and healing.
Also, please keep in
mind that abusers
always increase the
abuse over time.
Don't take as a given
that emotional abuse
won't escalate to
physical abuse.
Fast forward to 2012. I met my now-ex on a dating site. Oh he was the charmer, alright. He suckered both me and my children (they are now 19 & 17). We had almost a year of happiness before the lying, cheating, stealing, you name it, began.
He never called me any names (to my face but oh yeah behind my back, for sure!), but he was definitely emotionally & verbally abusive. Through my acceptance of his behavior, I felt as if I didn't deserve any better. He turned me into someone I never was, or ever will be again.
When he left for a "vacation" with a friend, I saw this as my out. Not only could he not hold a job (nor was he interested in one), but he got to where he was trying to control everything in my life. I sent his friend a text, and told him not to bother bringing my ex back, as I was done with all of it.
Three days go by, I'd secured the doors and planned on never seeing him again. He came by, and kicked my STEEL DOORS open, scaring both me & my 17 y/o son half to death. He began screaming at me, cursing, and I honestly feel if my son hadn't been beside me with a weapon (steel rod), the confrontation might have ended much differently.
He tries to contact me occasionally, and it's a tossup as to what mood he'll be in.
My point in telling you this is: NEVER stay "just because of the kids." My boys are old enough to see and know that how he treated me/us is very wrong, but young children don't see that.. They grow up thinking it's normal.
And my last, and most important point: Just because he may not be physically abusive at the moment, doesn't mean it won't become that way, eventually.