Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
HAHA! Yesterday my husband and I were in another one of our non-productive hour+ long discussions about why I don't love him and how I think he is hurting me, or as he says why I am trying to run his life discussions. I brought up verbal abuse to him again, only because he brought it up first in a snarky tone like he always does. I finally stopped and asked him what he thought verbal abuse meant. He said:
"It's unsolicited...and it's just over the top pure meanness just for the sake of being mean, but the key word is unsolicited."
It hit me just there, he thinks that as long as the person receiving the verbal abuse deserves it in the abuser's eyes, then it's not classified as abuse. Wow! They actually justify their behavior and we are supposed to just sit there and take it and are not allowed to call it abuse because we deserve it. And WE are the crazy ones??? I'm actually laughing at this one in my head.
I'm fine with debates...debate away. When two people care, BOTH leave the debate still feeling cared about. When only one cares, they try to get you to accept the "word" as proof of caring.
How to put this. Okay...babies. Sometimes they love to get thrown up into the air or spun around. Other times they want to be gently rocked. It's not the action that counts...it's matching up the action to the individual.
It's someone making you laugh...when they KNOW you well enough to know that that's just what you need/want at that moment. And holding you tight, when that's what you need/want. THAT's an expression of love.
Not that any of us can do that 100% of the time. "Trust" is knowing that the person is generally doing their best.
Doing the wrong thing and laughing about it? NOT love. Arguing that the "word" is the "thing"...NOT love.