I'm sorry :( I have felt very similar. Mine seemed to hate me being happy! His father was the same with everyone. As soon as a happy event came up - BAM! They would both start behaving like quarrelsome, bratty kids.

My only advice is to take extra special care of yourself, physically as well as thinking kind thoughts to yourself...and focus on your little granddaughter. Grandparents are integral figures in my happy memories of Christmases past. Let your little one give you pleasure by taking centre stage! I am sure she will love being with you :)

Hugs and Merry Xmas xx

My husband was the same way. He hated Christmas and the Holidays. Somewhere along the way after years and years, being as he was always this way, I got so I realized I couldn't change him, I could only change how I reacted to him. It took years of practice till I got it right, but I was finally able to enjoy the Holidays at the same time he was being his usual self. It is so very hard to tune him out, but with practice it can be done. I know how hard it is when you live with a sourpuss. I'm so very sorry. I hope it gets better for you. They can sure take all the joy out of the Holidays.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((CHRISTMAS HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh gosh, I can totally relate to being physically drained by it.

It has made things much easier for me to expect the same as what I've always gotten.

It's extra hard trying to make holidays magic for kids with an abuser around!! It sucks that they will ruin it for kids. Awful.

It's also helped a lot to focus laser-like on making holidays good for the kids. Takes a lot of effort to ignore the abuser tantrums but having a focus helps TONS.

Good luck!

I just wanted to send my love xx

Thanks all for the kindness and support - it means a LOT. I made the mistake of getting very overtired and it increased my physical pain and lowered my ability to cope emotionally. Your understanding words helped me to get through it. I did the best I was able to at this time. I have to forgive myself for what I couldn't do. ( until I met my H I had never experienced anyone who makes happy events MISERABLE. I find it sad but interesting that others have encountered this too. )

It is common with abusers, to try to suck the happy out of anything and everything. My mother was the queen of it.

I'm sorry you got overtired, but I love that you are going easy on yourself for what you couldn't do. I myself found it really helpful to focus on what I have achieved rather than what I didn't manage. Even if all I achieved each day was very small (and for a while it was, still sometimes is), I would congratulate myself for whatever I managed, and let go of what I didn't.