Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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PinkAnything09 09/16/2009

Here's the story, my husband is an alcoholic, and proud of it, he's not wrapped too tight, and brags on it. We argue ALL the time, and 75% off the time he breaks things, punches holes, stabs himself, hits his head with & against things. This last fight we had he shot a bullet through our bedroom floor, punched holes, broke picture frames & when I was leaving with the kids started punching my car and completely smashed my windshield in with his fist. He always threatens if I leave him or cheat on him he will blow my head off. He never helps with the kids, I have some medical conditions which makes it that much harder. I have 3 small children, 2 by him. I know I need to get out ASAP. Any advice? It's hard to play nice right now just to get by. I know he will come after me. My sister said to get a lawyer, get the emergency custody & restraining order then while he's at work go get mine & the kids things. I'm so scared!

Ghabbir 09/16/2009

Listen to wat ur sissy said n do that, u need to get out of that relationship, this man is very dangerous n can harm you, you have your lovely kids to look after. You gotta run fast. Hang in there n stay strong (((HUGS))))

PinkAnything09 09/16/2009

Thanks for the quick reply. I know this is what I need to do & I am going to follow through with it, but I just feel so guilty being the nice person I am. I know he loves our twin girls with all his heart, but I just honestly fear for my life. I'm in that "I wish things could work" mentality & wishing he could be the man I married, but I know he is who he is & change is a LONG time away, if ever. It's hard to let go of the good times & the lifestyle. I know I have hard times ahead because he will go PSYCHO!!!

Ghabbir 09/16/2009

I understand wat u r goin thru n i m so sorry 4 the pain u r goin thru but u need to move out of that relationship as fast as possible cos this man can hurt u bad n kill u. a lot of us here on DS hve been whr u've been n u wil get th support n advice u need. Those good times were delusional & that is wat they wanted us to believe that they were good times but it was just 4 their own benefit. Abusers can neva be good cos they don even know wat good is. don feel guilty for being th person that u r. U did ur part n that was love him dearly & sincerely but he threw that rite back in ur face so now is time to wipe the dust of ur shoes n start moving on.

you have a whole life ahead of you & believe me u can do so much beta without him.. it ain't easy but u have to forge ahead 4 ur sake & ur kids.. Stay strong...

deleted_user 09/16/2009

hmmmm, all his heart huh...he doesnt have one......if he had one and loved anyone but himself he wouldnt make a spectical and terrify these kids with this blatant violence. Dont let him play that game. he is a violent abuser, with a drinking problem...not a good combination and one day he will kill you. Then in a split second of sobriety realize what he has done and then what..........kills the kids, and then him.....
Sounds brutal but the statistics on this are staggering!

Call a shelter, they will help you organize...and then run!

IleneW 09/16/2009

Hi Pink ----

In addition to a lawyer who has experience with dangerous breakups, go to your local women's center. They know how to develop and execute safetly plans.

FYI ---- a lot of "nice" people, sweet, loving, love-is-all-you-need women --------- get KILLED. Don't be one of them. (Your kids need a mother.)

Please create and follow-through with a SAFETY PLAN.

The man you described sounds completely capapble of killing you.

Please take care!!!!!!

deleted_user 09/16/2009

I would advise you to contact your local woman's shelter. Look on line for your local shelter in your area, get the help you need to move in the direction that is safe. You focus needs to be immediate, please do not delay in making the first step.

MyTrueColors 09/16/2009

Please listen to all of these women & do everything they say. Also, if you can, get copies of bank accts, retirement accounts, deeds, the yurs & the kids birth certificates, meds and other necessities and stash them somewhere - like at a TRUSTED friend or relative's house (preferably not anyone connected to him in ANY way).

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