Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
In the past 2 days I've managed to loose my Mom'd support and almost kicked out/have to pay to live at home. What caused this? Well mom brought up how I don't need to do choir my senior year because it's a waste of time. I told her no it's nonnegotiable. She said fine if you don't want to take our input then you can get out of my house and do whatever you D**n well please!!!! I told her I was done talking and went upstairs. She soon followed me upstairs and said you see this room?!!!!? Pretty soon if you keep up how you're acting then this room will have a price tag on it. You will pay for this room, pay for groceries, gas, everything!!! Finally she left me alone (I cried for 3 hours). I told grandma what happened. Next morning she starts gripping about me not wanting to take a password off my laptop (I had no idea how). She then said fine you can do your stupid choir and become a teacher but I'm done supporting you. I'll be here to cook for you but that's it. :'( she said maybe when you're moved out and 20 years from now you'll realized just how much of a jerk you were. :'( I told mom I had choir after school and left. I called my grandma that night and again said what happened that morning. I'm still hurt she'd say this. All because I want to be in choir and become a teacher.
Could you move in with your grandparents instead? If they say you can live there, then there is nothing your parents can do to stop you. You are 18.
Take care! xxx
As we've discussed before,
your mother is abusive,
(as is your father).
Sweetie, I am so very sorry you are having to live like this. I do understand. For as far back as I can remember my dad used to say, "If you don't like it here, get the hell out." And the day I (as a teen) walked out the door, he caught me and hit me. I share this with you to let you know that I do understand the hurt and the pain this causes.
To answer your question that I quoted above...It's hard because no one wants to believe their parents could possibly be so mean, cruel and/or abusive. If we think about it, the question, what would that mean about us (if our parents treated us the way your parents are treating you)?
The answer is NOTHING. It doesn't mean a thing because parents to deny or threaten to deny a child who is still in high school a roof over their head is CRIMINAL!!! It's called CHILD ABUSE or CHILD NEGLECT.
A parent who would deny or threaten to deny a child singing in a high school choir in their senior year is just down right IMHO cruel!!!!h Think about it, what is more wholesome and healthy than singing??? And singing in a high school choir no less??? IMHO your mom doing this is unconscionable!!! It's your senior year for crying out loud! That should be the year you remember the most and w/good memories!
Your mom has some very serious problems and your dad isn't any better! I hope you can find a healthy place to live w/people who are loving and caring and who will help you get into therapy.
~hugs~
The answer is NOTHING. It doesn't mean a thing because parents to deny or threaten to deny a child who is still in high school a roof over their head is CRIMINAL!!! It's called CHILD ABUSE or CHILD NEGLECT.
It means EVERYTHING about the parent. They are CHOOSING their actions. They may have a mental disorder, but they can CHOOSE to get help. Drinking only exacerbates any mental disorder they have.
The innocents in this are you and your siblings. You all depend on your parents to be loving and kind and to seek help when needed. Yes, having a mental disorder can make it difficult for a person (your parents) to see that they need help.
BUT, and this part sucks for sure, YOU see it. You and your siblings are seriously affected by your parents actions. They are putting you all at risk, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and especially physically by their drinking and their abuse.
And that is why we have all been encouraging you to seek help from a QUALIFIED therapist.
You have NEVER been able to live your life as you should be able to live it. As long as you are living under their roof you will be expected to do as they say.
Why, you ask??? Because that is how it has been for the last 18 years and they will not change now.
The only person who can change anything is you. You need to do exactly as they say or move out. The ball is in your court, I hope you decide to live your life.
It's YOUR life, now.
It's a shame
(a shame on your parents),
that your parents
are abusive.
When you were a child,
you had no rights or responsibilities.
Now you are an adult
with adult rights
and responsibilities.
It's a shame your parents are abusive.
To live your life,
you will need to
separate from them.
Sending you hugs
and healing prayers.
You do your siblings no good in staying around being a scapegoat to your parents frustrations.
Many have given you very good advice, most of which, from what i can discern, has gone ignored. Pity.
!
In my state, Child Welfare Services ALWAYS tries to place a child/children with family members or close friends if they pass the background check.
It's in the best interest of the child when they can do that.
You really do have options that you can use to help yourself and your siblings...
The only thing stopping you now, is you..
I don't mean to be cruel, but that is the bottom line.
I respect that taking action is frightening but isn't the way your life is going even more so? You will have help and support once you take that first step!
Peace & hugs....