Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So today I got a slap in the face, maybe for Mothers Day. He didn't mean to hurt my feelings but my son turned 18 in March and he is growing up. Well I got him to open his own bank account and made him a file for all of his own records in an empty file cabinet in the office room. Today he told me to give him his folder that has his new bank account information in it and it felt like a slap in the face. At first I thought he doesn't trust me now? Then I thought naw he didn't mean anything he is just growing up and wants to handle his own things himself right? I think the later is more correct but that too is sort of painful for me because he is now grown and I am now done with my job of raising him except for a few things he needs me for until he gets working and is self sufficient. But it sort of hurt me right now, right before mothers day I feel like I am being abandoned again. it is such a touchy situation for me. The child inside me says they always leave me, they never love me, and they never did so it must all be true. But my logical mind says that might not always be true. I had been doing so good but today it sort of knocked me down. I do not feel happy about my mother or my motherhood today. Right before Mother's day. I cry.
Oh Rad....
Your job as a Mother is never done. If you think at 18 he is ready to fly away and be done with his Mom then we need a real talking. He's still a teenager exploring independence. You are his safe place to fall. Your his Mommy when his world isn't right. Your his first love. Your the one who taught him to be kind and caring. Your the one who taught him to be a good man.
Sure I have three sons. And I felt like you so many times. What will I do now that they won't need me anymore. Honey...my phone rings all day...they text me when they don't call. One of the three or all of the three are here on any given night. When they can't reach me they call looking for me at each others homes. Sometimes I need a break!
You know why they do this? Because like you I've been to hell and back and still managed to love and care for them the best I knew how. Because I never gave up on them or myself. Even when there were times I thought I had nothing left to give.
Your job of being a Mom to that handsome son of yours has just started. There will be the love of his life..a wedding...a grandchild or few. There will be times he needs to talk and will ask for private time with you just to tell you something he can't share with anyone else.
If you don't believe me...ck my FB. They make me crazy! Lol.
You have a life ahead of you to enjoy the young child you raised in becoming a young man. You will be able to sit back and really enjoy him on a new level as more a friend. Job well done
I do admit his timing was poor, he just didn't think. All 18 year old's want to believe they are grown up. He just wanted to feel grown up by getting his bank account records.
I promise, promise you, it had nothing to do with not trusting you.
You know he is a good kid. He did NOT do it to hurt you, it's just that his timing was bad. Please have a happy mothers day!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))