Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

5,836 Members

27,933 Posts

0 Online

Cali123 09/14/2009

I posted a looong time ago about having to go on a business trip, and a male coworker will be going on the same trip. I was worried about telling my husband, and when I did, he acted in the exact way I was expecting: anger, threatening to go see his parents (his mistress lives in the same town), trying to kick me out, trying to force me to tell my boss I'm not going. this is all because of his insecurity and projecting his stuff onto me.

I go on the trip tomorrow. I reminded him yesterday that my business trip is this week. Everything was fine until I told him this. then he got really quiet and snapped "well, I'm sure you'll have a great time." in a very sarcastic tone. He then told me not to bother calling him while I'm on the east coast because he will not be answering the phone. I know he will do this because he refused to answer the phone when I was out of town in December with the same coworker. I could really care less about talking to him, but he's doing it because he knows I want to talk to my son. this is the picture of an emotional manipulator... :(

Any tips to help me get through this?

deleted_user 09/14/2009

Tell him you'll be calling to speak to the child, not him so he can give the phone to the child and you can talk. he doesnt have to speak to you. if you get no reply you will be forced to call the police dept and have them come by to check on them, remind him how embarrasing this will be for him. Also remind him that he CHOSE not to attend with you, and that you will not downgrade your behavior to his. Or if the child will be with a daycare person at any point during the day call him to speak to him there.

Cali123 09/14/2009

Oooh! Yes! Call the police to check on them. I didn't eve think of this. :)

He did choose not to come. I talked to him about that, and he kept asking why he'd want to go on a business trip "with that man". I kept telling him over and over that he'd be going with ME! Then he said that he'd punch my coworker if he were in the same room with him. totally not funny, and totally immature. Sigh...

Thanks for the advice!

deleted_user 09/14/2009

Do you react when he says these things? I think they love the reaction. When you call on travel hes going to be pouty and make snide comments... There isnt a way around it, but dont break down and apologize or even feed into his insecurities with reassurances. My husband used to do this when I traveled. Try to blow off his coming comments or if you are feeling saucy tell him hes acting like a child.

Cali123 09/15/2009

I used to react to him, but I have been trying to detach from him. I am going to leave a message and text him that if he does not wish to speak with me, that is his choice but I would like to speak with my son. I hate the way he is trying to manipulate me by using our son. It just sucks.

Join the Conversation