Needa - I'm stepping out but saw you post and just want to send you hugs and strength and let you know you are not alone. You've been going through so much and having to deal with so much lately it's understandable to feel low. Your life is NOT rubbish. You were dealing with Him. and He was rubbish. There is a light and I pray you see it soon. Please take care.

Big hugs,

Sending you hugs, peace and love. You are not alone in this. We have all felt these feelings. One day at a time.

I'm hearing your lonliness, your misery, your sorrow. You don't need to shake them off. They are real. You don't have to be happy all the time, and if there were ever a time to not be happy, this is it.

However, disappearing would be a big mistake. Right now, things are very dark and scary. It's ok to be scared. But that's right now. You will heal. You will grow, you will recover. This part of your life is not your whole life. There is joy, light, life, and strength ahead of you, even though you don't see it now.

"Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD; may your love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased to save me, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help me. May all who want to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace. May those who say to me, Aha! Aha! be appalled at their own shame. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who long for your saving help always say, The LORD is great! But as for me, I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay."
Psalms 40:11-17

So sorry to hear you are struggling :( I don't know what to say except this is part of the grief process that sometimes you just have to accept before you can pull yourself out.

My best suggestion is to take very small step-one day at a time. Find a half hour today to do something fun or constructive, whether it be a tv show that makes you laugh, a walk to the store, or writing in a journal. Remember, you deserve happiness and the best life has to offer.

Hi Needa,

I liken leaving an abusive relationship to detoxing from a toxic drug. You feel worse before you feel better. It is almost like your body has to empty itself of all of him before you can get to see and feel the real you, the you that is hidden under all of that writhing pain. Then the real healing begins, and with it comes bursts of light!! I promise.


I know that, as much as it sucks, feeling into the pain helps you heal more quickly... I know, easier said than done, right?!

Hang in there, we are here for you!! ;)

Also, you might want to try Rescue Remedy by Bach's. It is a holistic medicine, and it really works!!


XOXO

Needa--- I am in a similar space...
I do know that going to therapy--- even if I don't know if it is helping gets me out. I haven't gone to work, for 2 days, but I know I have to keep my job. I am doing what I have to because I have to.
You can do the same.
I know it is not what you want to hear.... but do the basics.
I don't want to survive either--- but it will hurt MY family if I don't try and as dumb as it sounds it will make life harder on my spouse as he will not be able to deal with it and my family will try not to direct pain towards him, but they most likely won't be able to help it.
If you pray -- Bax's offerred pray is a start....
I also try to write every single morning. It is okay if you can not write. My morning journal is becoming a scribble and draw book... sometimes I just stop writing in the middle of a senctence and scribble and fill in the spaces between the lines. I drew a flower badly one day because my sister used to draw flowers for me when I was little----
I want to cry, but don't. I want to sleep but don't
I can say to--- I want to go home, but don't.
Try along with me.... maybe if you try I will try harder too.... I need a purpose and if part of it is helping you to keep trying than I will take it right now.

Hi need,

I sent you a hug just now, and want you to know that we are all with you, even in this dark place. In fact, especially there.

Everyone has offered such great advice, and I second it all. Especially freedom's about it being like coming off a toxic drug...it has really felt that way for me at first, but it always ALWAYS got better with time.

Massive hugs and thinking of you xxx

Thank you. You are so right him being like a toxic drug. You are all so helpful on here . Your support is much appreciated. I love you all

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. (Psalm 34:18)

You may feel invisible now but see from the posts of support that there others who SEE you. You are grieving and feeling loss and that's okay as bax said. Your pain is real but you are not your pain. Your pain is a part of you but it does not define you. You have a separate identity aside from your pain- can you find that identity right now? Maybe that's too hard right now but I think if you look for it you will find it- it *is* there.

Sending you hugs and kleenex.

As Honor said, "your pain is a part of you but it does not define you. You have a separate identity aside from your pain- can you find that identity right now?" This is so important! Give your pain a color and a pretty container. When you need a break, mentally place your "purple" pain in the jazzy jar, and let it be for a while.

I know how hard it is Need. It is, unfortunately, a very normal step in getting over the trauma. My best advice is go with it, allow yourself to feel it (it won't kill you despite how much it feels like it could), and put it in its proper space a few times during the day to give yourself a "timeout" of sorts.

Your life has meaning. A positive, uplifting, loving purpose. Look how you took such good care of the ex. You have a lot to offer this world no doubt. Don't give up. You can and will beat this.

Many hugs,
LT

Hi Needa,

I don't have much to add to the excellent replies you've already gotten, except to say please hang on! Please try to have faith that this is TEMPORARY, a phase you are going through on your journey to finding a good life again.

Just try to focus on ANYTHING on your life that is positive, or that gives you pleasure or satisfaction or relief from the pain. And please try not to brood about what has happened. There will be time later to try and figure out why this all happened -- when you are stronger and calmer and have more perspective.

You have been through so much and your life has been turned upside down in the last few weeks -- it's no wonder you're still hurting. Please just be patient with yourself and take care. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet.

I don't really have anything else to add to all of these great posts, but I did want to say I am so very sorry you are still going through this. I really hope you get to feeling better soon. Everybody is different, but it does take everybody time to heal, or at least start to heal.
I wish for you only the best.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I can't really add anything to what the others have said. Just know that you are not alone. I am intimately familiar with the space you are in now. It won't always be that bad. You don't have to believe it, just hang on and you will start to feel better.