Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Going on Day 15 NC with the last time I contacted him being to say Goodbye via text and the last time he contacted me 12-18 leaving a voicemail as if I was just being silly and asking me to make the trip with him, no real emotions displayed or wanting to talk and work things out, just saying that he needed someone to help him drive, give him a call.
I know I need to get rid of all voice mails like I did the times before and any photos or videos of him, but that is a step I haven't quite taken yet.
Maybe I realize the voicemails will disappear in time anyway and just not checking them over and over like I used to is huge for me.
I have not heard from him this holiday week at all, but I figured I would not as he is away in another state and "happy" in that he does not have to deal with his everyday demons. He is most likely enjoying the beach, the freedoms of Mexico and drink and drugs.
I dread next week if he comes back to reality per schedule, that will be when I have to really strong and not let him guilt me or pretend he can have any sort of human feelings.
To anyone going through NC or trying to break free of their abuser or even thinking about it, I am wishing you strength, calm and belief in yourself.
I know I need to get rid of all voice mails like I did the times before and any photos or videos of him, but that is a step I haven't quite taken yet.
Maybe I realize the voicemails will disappear in time anyway and just not checking them over and over like I used to is huge for me.
I have not heard from him this holiday week at all, but I figured I would not as he is away in another state and "happy" in that he does not have to deal with his everyday demons. He is most likely enjoying the beach, the freedoms of Mexico and drink and drugs.
I dread next week if he comes back to reality per schedule, that will be when I have to really strong and not let him guilt me or pretend he can have any sort of human feelings.
To anyone going through NC or trying to break free of their abuser or even thinking about it, I am wishing you strength, calm and belief in yourself.
My ex was indifferent in his messages also. After i ended it he'd send a random text like "did you get to work today?" but not anything meaningful like "hey i miss you or i'm sorry" It hurt but i think it was better that way If he was sending I love you or come back to me messages I think my resolve would have been shot.
Maybe you can try to think of that random message the same way? Use it as a helpful reminder that he won't (or possibly can't) love you in the way you deserve and need.
Keep it up! You got this!
Your so right Twilight Flash, he seems to be incapable of feeling honest emotion. Either he overdoes it, like in the beginning, he was almost obsessive with me and would even send photos of him crying over me if I would detach, he would break up with me then call the next day and say he loved me and I was an angel and this is so hard. Blame it all on drama from me or my family.
Then the next breakup it was more detached anger and blaming me and bringing up anything I had ever done wrong, no matter how far back, then saying when I stood up for myself and told him to f off and throw all my things away and get rid of my pictures, feigned offense and indifference, and saying You will be back and You will miss me.
It really is and always has been about him.
Joanie, I know you are really struggling to sever the ties with him. But I believe you must in order to reclaim yourself and all the possibilities for your life. Be strong, believe in YOU for a change! You are worth it.
Hugs
done so far. You're strong
and you will find your way
through the jungle.
Sending you hugs and
prayers for all that brings
you to your best life.
You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man
You can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know, what you don't know...
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again
I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know, what you don't know...
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so?..
Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
Those are the lyrics to a song by Taylor Swift. Is this not a pretty good description of abusers? AND I AM LUCKY ENOUGH AND YES, I MISS MY DOG HORRIBLY! But when you are running for your life, you can't take everything you would like to and since I live in a small apartment, unfortunately I can't have my dog with me.