Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi everyone,
I feel a bit funny coming on here as I havent had half the problems others have but I have recently come out of my relationship (early December), we were together for just over 2 and half years, engaged for 8 months, I thought everything was great but I started having an odd feeling that things werent right but I couldnt put my finger on it, I felt myself going if you know what I mean, self-esteem, confidence etc but he wasnt particularly doing anything, just feelings I got from him and going out was a problem, I felt that if he didnt have my attention 100% of the time them there would be grief from him, we had a few nights out when it was a nice night but then I would get a horrible text afterwards (we arent living together). I also felt that he put me down and I got disapproving looks or his body language was odd, it was so hard as it was all just feelings and nothing I could pin point it onto. Sometimes when we went out his body language was funny and he told me it was due to him being tired or long day etc and to give him a nudge to get him back with me but I dont want to be responsible for him all the time, he is an adult not a child!
I went to a councelor in the end to try and get my head around everything and she said it was something that had happened when he was young and nothing to do with me. I have spoken to him a few times to try and explain things and the last time I told him what the councelor had said and he didnt thing she was right, I also said to him that drinking makes it worse, his response was that I was clutching at straws!
Problem is I still love him but I cannot be in a relationship like that. He has said he is sorry over and over again and said he has made mistakes but hasnt said once that he would try and change. He text me a few times and said in one of text shouldnt say this but love you, can anyone explain why that makes me feel weird and not in a good way? Doesnt make me feel awwwww thats sweet at all.
Sorry if its a bit rambly, very hard to put into words!
I feel a bit funny coming on here as I havent had half the problems others have but I have recently come out of my relationship (early December), we were together for just over 2 and half years, engaged for 8 months, I thought everything was great but I started having an odd feeling that things werent right but I couldnt put my finger on it, I felt myself going if you know what I mean, self-esteem, confidence etc but he wasnt particularly doing anything, just feelings I got from him and going out was a problem, I felt that if he didnt have my attention 100% of the time them there would be grief from him, we had a few nights out when it was a nice night but then I would get a horrible text afterwards (we arent living together). I also felt that he put me down and I got disapproving looks or his body language was odd, it was so hard as it was all just feelings and nothing I could pin point it onto. Sometimes when we went out his body language was funny and he told me it was due to him being tired or long day etc and to give him a nudge to get him back with me but I dont want to be responsible for him all the time, he is an adult not a child!
I went to a councelor in the end to try and get my head around everything and she said it was something that had happened when he was young and nothing to do with me. I have spoken to him a few times to try and explain things and the last time I told him what the councelor had said and he didnt thing she was right, I also said to him that drinking makes it worse, his response was that I was clutching at straws!
Problem is I still love him but I cannot be in a relationship like that. He has said he is sorry over and over again and said he has made mistakes but hasnt said once that he would try and change. He text me a few times and said in one of text shouldnt say this but love you, can anyone explain why that makes me feel weird and not in a good way? Doesnt make me feel awwwww thats sweet at all.
Sorry if its a bit rambly, very hard to put into words!
but its hard very hard
big hugs
As to his 'i love you', I'd say you're just cautious and wary and on guard right now. When people are like that, they tend to question everything in regard to what's made them cautious. Honestly, just trust your gut right now.
funny you should say that raeyne04, I have always been a firm believer in trusting my gut, not easy to take your own advise, now I've found this forum Im finding its re-establishing that I did the right thing