Try to remain neutral on the package. But I wouldn't open it if I were you. I'd just leave it be, maybe give it to someone to hold for you. Later, when you have time and space away from him and feel stronger, you can check it out and see what her motive is. Not now.

Of course he didn't leave a voice mail. Of course he's not going to let you know what is on his mind. Your job, your only job, is to not give a shit that he called. To go on about your life, ignoring his attempts to get your attention, to get you to make contact.

My ex, after 5 years, STILL does that. We have been divorced for 3 years! But a few weeks ago, he called repeatedly. Finally, began leaving voice mails asking me to call him. Screw that, if he needs to talk to me he can tell me what he wants. Then he called saying he wants to MEET with me face to face (because he owes me a substantial sum of money and is trying to get out of paying it). I laughed my ass off at the phone while I listened to that. I was yelling at the phone "ARE YOU NUTS???? I'd rather meet with Saddam Hussein than you!!!" (Don't know why I picked the dead guy but whatever...you get the idea.)

I did call him back so he'd stop calling me. I said simply, "I'm not going to meet with you. The time for that was 4 years ago." And I hung up. He has not called me again, which was what I was hoping to accomplish. Can't wait til I have all of the money he owes me, I will block his number...

You can do this. Stay strong, and stay away.

Thank you for your reply Hockymom. It is too late to remain nuetral on the package, I had already opened it before this post as I was not even sure who it was from. I could not recall his mother's name as I had only met her once. That is how I read the letter she wrote to me that is posted on the advice post on here. :(

I want to think her intent is to somehow make up for her son, that she perhaps wants him to treat a woman well and in doing so, find help himself to overcome his addictions and such. I could be overthinking. Her behavior towards me was never abusive, but as I said I was not around her but once and what he told me of her.

He has not called since, so maybe he is done and moved on to greener pastures. He does have OCD, so perhaps something just made him think of me, or maybe even his mother told him of what she done?
I just found it odd she got my address, or actually my fathers. I don't have a listing in the phone book.

Right now I have to keep my phone number but if things get too bad, after I get a few things out of the way, I will change it. I have a lot of stressors right now and I hope to get them out of the way in the next few weeks.

Thanks again for your support. I am sorry about what you have had to go through and I admire your tenacity and strength.

He's just messing with you. You not picking up the phone will give him the image of you serenely ignoring him, even though it actually sends you into a panic and makes you want to jump out of your skin. With time, you will serenely take note of him calling you and ignore it with a smile. I do it all the time with mine. Took me a few years to reach that point, but it can be done. (And I don't block him because we have kids together, but I rarely answer unless they are with him.)

Oh, and when I do answer, I nearly always regret it.

I hope your right Far and Away..I really do. Had I stayed away from the first go around with him, maybe I would be more immune by now. I dealt with the abusive ex before him for over 2 years on and off and I must of went back 4 times or more throughout, he would use his kids even to get me to come back..silent treatment, I'm sorry, anger, guilt..everything. I finally after 9 months of lockdown in my home and my father threatning that if the man ever came around again that he would put him in a ditch, moved past him enough that his calls/texts dont upset me ( the ex before this last one) so I have to think that if I can do that..I can eventually move past this man who I probably dated about a year all together or less on/off.
I think it could be because I have dated since the 2 year man, and not since this last ex. Harder to move on alone, necessary I realize, in order to work on me and my issues about getting into these relationships..but much harder. Especially realizing that he always has his ex to fall back on, over and over. Hence, the easy way out for him. :(