Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So last night we (more like I) told our 8 year old son that we are getting a divorce. It was really sad and I tried so hard to do it without crying.
We brought our son into our room and I almost immediately broke down looking at his innocent little face smiling at me. =(
My husband just sat there, said nothing. I couldn't bring myself to say it without crying so I paused for a little while.
Finally I got enough courage to ask my son if he has any friends whose parents are divorced, he asked "what is divorce". I said "when a mommy lives in one house and a daddy lives in another". He looked at me and said "oh yeah" and said "why?". I teared up again, trying to come up with the words without breaking his heart. He asked "why again", I went to speak and he said "Is daddy moving to a new house?" I said "yes baby" and he instantly started crying and hugged my husband as my husband cried too.
I immediately tried to tell him that he has nothing to worry about, that we both love him and his sister more then anything and they will always be taken care of. My husband confirmed same to my son. I told him that he will go to the same school, he will go to the same karate program and his daddy is going to live very close to us.
After about 5 minutes he was ok with it. We told him to ask any questions he wanted and re-assured him that him and his sister will be taken care of by both mommy and daddy and we love them more then anything. We told him that he will get to help daddy pick out his house and his room and his furniture, etc. We re-assured him that it had nothing to do with him or his sister.
He was fine for the rest of the night. Really praying he is ok and doesn't have any set backs. I know once the day comes for his dad to move out will be hard but we have been doing things separately with the kids for the last 2 to 3 months and told him that is how it is going to be.
My 3 year old drama princess was not fazed at all, I know with her too it will likely be more of an impact when he moves out. But really trying to stay positive and pray for happiness for my kids and I.
We brought our son into our room and I almost immediately broke down looking at his innocent little face smiling at me. =(
My husband just sat there, said nothing. I couldn't bring myself to say it without crying so I paused for a little while.
Finally I got enough courage to ask my son if he has any friends whose parents are divorced, he asked "what is divorce". I said "when a mommy lives in one house and a daddy lives in another". He looked at me and said "oh yeah" and said "why?". I teared up again, trying to come up with the words without breaking his heart. He asked "why again", I went to speak and he said "Is daddy moving to a new house?" I said "yes baby" and he instantly started crying and hugged my husband as my husband cried too.
I immediately tried to tell him that he has nothing to worry about, that we both love him and his sister more then anything and they will always be taken care of. My husband confirmed same to my son. I told him that he will go to the same school, he will go to the same karate program and his daddy is going to live very close to us.
After about 5 minutes he was ok with it. We told him to ask any questions he wanted and re-assured him that him and his sister will be taken care of by both mommy and daddy and we love them more then anything. We told him that he will get to help daddy pick out his house and his room and his furniture, etc. We re-assured him that it had nothing to do with him or his sister.
He was fine for the rest of the night. Really praying he is ok and doesn't have any set backs. I know once the day comes for his dad to move out will be hard but we have been doing things separately with the kids for the last 2 to 3 months and told him that is how it is going to be.
My 3 year old drama princess was not fazed at all, I know with her too it will likely be more of an impact when he moves out. But really trying to stay positive and pray for happiness for my kids and I.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you for all the strength and encouragement you all give me!!!!
Give yourself a giant pat on the back for the way you handled this. You deserve it.
I really wish my mom had had the courage to leave as well. You are doing a good thing for your children and yourself!
Hugs to you!!!!
Just want to point out what a different woman I am seeing over these last two week prior to you breaking down and going back to him to try again and the time that followed.
Congratulations your on your way to living in freedom and peace where you'll be able to find yourself again like your starting to do now!
I am so happy for u (even if you don't feel it yet and are scared) because I know that your future is brighter, I really know it!!!
I really am trying to take things one day at a time and pray pray pray. =)