Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Today was my point of no return!

tonyaabernathy
tonyaabernathy
It's Sunday and a rainy day too.My daughter is home and in a grouchy mood too.She seem to want to argue today.I laid down, and I heard the 2 of them arguing.When I get in there, he is so angry and her disrespecting him is all my fault!He gets furious and starts yelling and cursing me.So I tell him to leave, he say's he is, but it takes him for ever.He decides to get all this stuff to leave,so he is going around the house yelling ,threatening me, and starts breaking mirrors and glasses! My daughter is in her room with the door closed. He tells her to stay in there,so she is hearing all of this and doesn't know what is going on.He even threatens to kill me at one point.So she opens her door and looks for him then she takes off running to her brothers room.When he leaves I go to get her and she is hiding under the comforter in his room crying.I get her up and bring her back to the living room with me.She's terrified,I try to calm her and comforter her and I'm holding her.She said Mom, I thought Dad hurt you! I have realized that she heard all the glass breaking, him yelling and threatening me,she thought her Dad was trying to kill me!!! My GOD I can not ever second guess my thoughts of how bad this is ever again!! I must proceed with this divorce,I have to.Please help me to remember this, and not get to that fade away place, or question my own reality.This time it was about her fear not mine! I wont ever let him do that to my child again.
rachelrachel
rachelrachel
OMG!!!!!!!!!

Call a shelter and get out now! this week. tomorrow!

the breaking of stuff, and threats of murder is REALLY BAD!

for the sake of your daughter, who probably just went through the scariest thing of her life, get out now!!!!

I think just the breaking of stuff and the threats of murder is enough to get him served with a protection order to get him out of the house.

talk to someone from your local shelter.

oh, your poor daughter, I have tears in my eyes, imagining her hiding under her brother's comforter, crying, thinking that you had been attacked and injured, possibly killed.

(and of course, you know it's only one step from smashing stuff to smashing you, and it can come out of nowhere-it did for me.)
tonyaabernathy
tonyaabernathy
Thanks Rachealracheal,you are right .I don't think my daughter or I will ever get over this one.I so hate what he has done.Over and over he has hurt me emotionally and threatened me to, and in turn our children, but for the most part he has been selective in the things he say's and does in front of them.But this was an undeniable threat to me and my daughter as well.I promise I wont let him do this again. I know this was something she should have never ever witnessed. I will not allow him to put us in that situation again.I will write all of this down, and if I ever forget this. I will have a reminder of what he has done and I'm going to keep it in a place so I can read it often to not ever forget this day.Thank you again sweetie.
IleneW
IleneW
Hon ----

It is past time
to leave.

Please leave.

Healing can happen.

But not till after you
leave the toxicity.

PLEASE TAKE YOUR
CHILD AND LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
artemis000
artemis000
He's dangerous, and I agree with Rachel that you should get to a shelter immediately. There's no telling what he's capable of doing, and you really can't afford to allow him to traumatize your children any further - or worse, kill you.

Please take care.
tonyaabernathy
tonyaabernathy
I wont let him do this anymore! He has a home, he is suppose to stay at, but he feels as if he can come and go here .I will call the Attorney in the morning to tell him, guess I am going to have to get a restraining order.I took pictures of the mess he made with the broken glass and haven't cleaned it up either. So if he tells me to call the police to report it . I didn't because I was so busy trying to get him to leave, and calm him down, and didn't want to upset my daughter anymore than she already was.I talked with her tonight about it again and told her that this was not her fault at all.That it was Dad who chose his behavior and that adults do not have the right to act that way.That we are responsible to treat others with respect.Thanks for the encouragement ,I know that I have too long, aloud this man to much mercy, and unearned forgiveness, waiting for him to get it right, but I will not anymore.I will not allow him anymore chances to do that to her again. I know that if I did that, it's teaching her to let a man abuse you over and over again, and that it is acceptable,which is exactly what I have told him for years that his behaviors are not acceptable, but it never meant anything to him for me to say that, but from this day forward it will.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Copy and paste what you wrote into a journal so you can easily have access to it, so you won't forget. This is so bad. Thank GOD he did not kill you. Yes, a restraining order ASAP and a divorce attorney.

A BIG hug to you and your daughter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Copy and paste what you wrote into a journal so you can easily have access to it, so you won't forget. This is so bad. Thank GOD he did not kill you. Yes, a restraining order ASAP and a divorce attorney.

A BIG hug to you and your daughter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Copy and paste what you wrote into a journal so you can easily have access to it, so you won't forget. This is so bad. Thank GOD he did not kill you. Yes, a restraining order ASAP and a divorce attorney.

A BIG hug to you and your daughter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Copy and paste what you wrote into a journal so you can easily have access to it, so you won't forget. This is so bad. Thank GOD he did not kill you. Yes, a restraining order ASAP and a divorce attorney.

A BIG hug to you and your daughter.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Copy and paste what you wrote into a journal so you can easily have access to it, so you won't forget. This is so bad. Thank GOD he did not kill you. Yes, a restraining order ASAP and a divorce attorney.

A BIG hug to you and your daughter.
Livndadrem
Livndadrem
All of the above. And change the locks so he cannot possibly come into your house again without permission - which shouldn't be granted unless you have protection.
hockeymom5592
hockeymom5592
I'm glad you have gotten to this place, I am sorry you had to endure that. My ex used to break stuff too, but didn't threaten me directly.

I was just going to say CHANGE THE LOCKS, but I see liv said that..Get yourself a protective order.

I think a lot of times it takes seeing the effect on our children before we realize how bad it is. I don't think there is any turning back for you now, just move forward on this path, one thing at a time. One day you will be free.

Big hugs...
gogogiz
gogogiz
I echo everyone.
It's time. It's time to get away & reclaim your lives.
Your poor girl, terrified. It's worse for the kids. They never forget.
I saw some arguing as a child. I know there were times when my father hurt my mother & she hid it, but she also left him. twice. The first time I was 6 or 7 & we returned, we left for good about a year later.
Unbelievable but they reconciled about 8 yrs later. They were both super religious Catholics with no divorce beliefs...they split again for good, forever, but they never divorced.
I still remember the walking on eggshells.
i still remember knowing something was happening & not being able to figure it out.
It gives children a sense of uncertainty.
It makes us question everything, forever.
Look at me now, still unsure of myself, my decisions. I chose the wrong men.
don't let that happen to her. Get her counceling. Please. I never wanted to go when I was a kid. I wish my mother would have dragged me kicking & screaming, but I guess she was just too tired in every way.
Please get your babies out of there.
Please keep them safe.
Lots of love to all of you!!
xoxo
gogo
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thankfully you are OK. Thankfully he did not injure or kill you. He could.

File for an order of protection. Now. Do not wait. Change the locks on the doors. Today. If you cannot do this, take your daughter and go to a shelter.

This is serious. It is not overreacting. Not overkill. Take the steps you must take to protect yourself and your daughter.

I'm so glad you're reaching out for support. You can be safe and get your life back and protect your child.
deleted_user
deleted_user
".This time it was about her fear not mine! I wont ever let him do that to my child again.'
Exactly! I'm sorry you and your daughter had to experience such a horrific experience. Now is the time to leave before he actually has achance to do what he threatened to do. There is no question, he is a dangerous volatile abuser and that is reality. Please go to a shelter, a friends house or your family's home. Don't wait. No more chances for him. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT TELL HIM YOU ARE LEAVING BEFORE YOU GO. Don't call anyone while he is there, make an excuse to go to the store and leave and make your calls when you are far from that house or don't even bother calling, just show up. Wherever you go, they will understand. don't worry about your things, they are replacable or you can get them at another time, with the police or male family members escorting you.