I have read some posts on why joint counseling with your abuser is not a good idea. Now, from my previous posts you know that I have been together with my husband for almost 20 years, and for parts of our marriage I have experienced some physical and some emotional abuse. Last year in august i was done, and since then he completely turned around.
So, in September, we did do to couples therapy together. However, it didn't work out well, because the therapist actually turned against me and tried to soothe me, said such things as "people have unrealistic expectations" and this their relationship fail, or, there are always issues in a marriage but now we have to try to get past them, bunch of bullshit like that.
My husband actually got very frustrated with her, and it was interesting, because it was almost us against her. He told her that I had absolutely every right not to want him ever again, that it was all his fault. I didn't fall back in love with him, obviously, but he actually became the person that had to tell everyone to back off with all the pressure on me to "gosh, hope you could make it work again". I do believe that he has completely changed, but now, after reading all the posts, I also believe that I still, do have the right not to feel feelings for him anymore. And I am done feeling guilty about it. And, I do want to feel at peace about it all, about what we went through together, and about how things got resolved on the end. Bitterness, hurt, resentment, fear, ego, quilt, etc., they all have to be gone. Whatever happens between us. My heart is clear. I gave him absolutely everything I had in me, and then I forgave him for destroying all that. I wish him the best, but I also wish me the best, whatever happens.