Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
This morning, I feel like I've read
one or more threads from
nearly every stop along
the way, on the journey
from being abused
by a partner ---- to
reclaiming a healthy
connection to self
and the world.
There is no one answer
to any question.
Each of us is
an individual
and each of our stories
is our own story.
There are lots of similarities
among stories
which is why our experiences
enable us to relate
to each other
and to each other's
stories.
As I read the different threads,
I remember feeling those feelings
as I traveled my own journey.
I remember the pain.
I remember the vows to "make it work."
I remember the despair, when it didn't work.
I remember planning to kill myself.
I remember the epiphanies.
I remember the doubts.
I remember the "make up" sex.
I remember the second-guessing.
I remember the confusion.
I remember the anger.
I remember the certainty.
I remember the pain of leaving.
I remember the liberation
of living without abuse.
I remember each step
at every stop along the way.
When I was traveling
the path to freedom,
I had one friend
and no other support.
Most of the way
I didn't even KNOW
that it had been
happening to me
had been ABUSE!!!!!!!!!
I second-guessed myself
and my decision(s)
at every single step
along the way.
And yet. . . . . . . .
here I am.
Nearly a decade
ABUSE FREE
and newly remarried.
(No. It's not "perfect."
But it's a
brand new existence.
I will NEVER be abused
again!)
I'm posting this thread
to let each of you,
in this special community
KNOW
that a life
FREE OF ABUSE
is POSSIBLE.
You need to know
that you're ENTITLED
to a life
FREE OF ABUSE,
that's HAPPY
and HEALTHY
and full of
EVERYTHING
YOU MOST WANT
in your SWEETEST
and WILDEST DREAMS.
Please LOVE YOUR LIFE.
Never, ever,
EVER
allow ANYONE
to STEAL YOUR DREAMS
or your HAPPY LIFE.
Your happy life
BELONGS TO YOU
BY virtue of having
BEEN BORN.
It's YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love to all.
SELF-CARE and
happiness to
EVERYONE
this morning,
and always.
one or more threads from
nearly every stop along
the way, on the journey
from being abused
by a partner ---- to
reclaiming a healthy
connection to self
and the world.
There is no one answer
to any question.
Each of us is
an individual
and each of our stories
is our own story.
There are lots of similarities
among stories
which is why our experiences
enable us to relate
to each other
and to each other's
stories.
As I read the different threads,
I remember feeling those feelings
as I traveled my own journey.
I remember the pain.
I remember the vows to "make it work."
I remember the despair, when it didn't work.
I remember planning to kill myself.
I remember the epiphanies.
I remember the doubts.
I remember the "make up" sex.
I remember the second-guessing.
I remember the confusion.
I remember the anger.
I remember the certainty.
I remember the pain of leaving.
I remember the liberation
of living without abuse.
I remember each step
at every stop along the way.
When I was traveling
the path to freedom,
I had one friend
and no other support.
Most of the way
I didn't even KNOW
that it had been
happening to me
had been ABUSE!!!!!!!!!
I second-guessed myself
and my decision(s)
at every single step
along the way.
And yet. . . . . . . .
here I am.
Nearly a decade
ABUSE FREE
and newly remarried.
(No. It's not "perfect."
But it's a
brand new existence.
I will NEVER be abused
again!)
I'm posting this thread
to let each of you,
in this special community
KNOW
that a life
FREE OF ABUSE
is POSSIBLE.
You need to know
that you're ENTITLED
to a life
FREE OF ABUSE,
that's HAPPY
and HEALTHY
and full of
EVERYTHING
YOU MOST WANT
in your SWEETEST
and WILDEST DREAMS.
Please LOVE YOUR LIFE.
Never, ever,
EVER
allow ANYONE
to STEAL YOUR DREAMS
or your HAPPY LIFE.
Your happy life
BELONGS TO YOU
BY virtue of having
BEEN BORN.
It's YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love to all.
SELF-CARE and
happiness to
EVERYONE
this morning,
and always.
thank God i left him finally, and flew to my freedom here in Alaska, where my best friends and children are! its so awesome to be surrounded by their LOVE!!!! i had forgotten what it feels like to be safe.
God bless you and i'm so happy that you're remarried!!!!
I pray each day for signs to let me know the path to take. I receive them and I hope that I honor the ones that are given. Yours is definitely both literally and figuratively a waking up sign. I woke up during the night so many times very angry and I am not sure why---- but perhaps your words shed light as to why I am upset--- I deserve an abuse free life. I must make good choices for myself.
Thank you for sharing that you had several of the feelings that you see here.... it is good to know that you too had these same feelings.
Thank you for sharing. I am at a very critical point in my journey, literally on the brink of taking that leap. And Im experiencing so many of the feelings and emotions on your list. My little girls are also a huge factor in my decision. I do not want them growing up being influenced with these negative, demeaning, indecisive, hurtful, sad, confusing feelings and emotions.
I actually thought if I could handle it better, they can see that marriages can work no matter what. However, I can not handle this anymore. I am not "here' emotionally because my mind is always wandering, second guessing myself, reading these boards, looking for answers, reading books. I'm at my wits end here.
I just want a happy, peaceful life with the usual ups and downs. Nothing about this relationship or existence is "usual"
Yesterday, my 8 yr old said something that was exactly what my husband would have said to me. It made me stop dead in my tracks. I thought, is she manipulating me OR is she really feeling this way. I didn't know how to respond because I didn't want to minimize her feelings. I was a complete mess inside. I just held her and cried and kept telling her how much I love her and always will. Later last night, I sat alone and cried and felt like a complete failure - as a mother. And that killed me.
I dont want this anymore. I want to do whats right and best for my girls.
I pray for strength for myself and for everyone struggling with this craziness.
Hugs,
I'm ssssoooooo sorry
for your pain.
What's your support
system like, other than
our on-line community?
Do you have connections
with a counselor or the
nearest women's center?
I hope so.
Please be sure to take
very good care of yourself!
Hugs and healing wishes. . . . .
I don't in any way mean to imply that I'm sorry I left, because I never have been--though I do still mourn the loss of what we could have had...
My mom, sister and 2 very close friends know of my situation and have seen it and realized it way before I came to terms with it. They want me to be happy and out of this toxic relationship. They are very supportive and I know I'm blessed. Its just so hard and confusing at times.
I am seeing a counselor that specializes in abuse as you suggested, for the last moth now and he's been a huge help and very validating.
I long for the day I wont always need the validation and can stand on my own for the most part.
I saw an attorney last september before I even learned that my marriage has turned abusive. I gave things another year and now after all I'm learning and all of my soul searching, I realize I don't want this anymore. I was finally able to get all PWs to accounts and find our financial information and made an appt with attorney again this week. But I think this is it this time. I can't see turning back or giving things any more chances. I'm just so tired of it all.
Thank you for all of your help and support and inspiration.
I think I must have evolved to the queen of self care and loving it!!!!
Still, and again, so happy for you!!!
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))