I needed to read this today! I am driving myself crazy with the same issues. My "ex" was escorted by the cops last July and I let him come back in November (after some therapy) and he made it to March before I was going to lose my mind, my unborn child, or just plain lose "it". I packed for him and saw him off, and everything was amazingly calm, but I am dealing with a narcissistic manic depressive, and who knows what he is thinking. I am very high risk pregnant, and on bed rest, no income for me or my other daughter, and he is back living with his family, lying, wining, dining.. going out every night, getting girls to stay with, I am going crazy. I thought the hard part was getting him out! I am in a position to have to DEAL with the emotions with no escapes to avoid it. He has his "friends" places to go, family to support his lazy butt, and I fought for him, I tried to help him, I loved him, and now he is still tearing me apart. I love him, and he is just an illusion. I listen to him on the phone, and catch him in his lies, and sit here and cry and cry and cry.. i am so tired of my heart hurting.. i am so angry that he has no empathy, no emotion, and yet can be so likeable by distance, and so utterly destructive in person. He is a pathological liar, and his family wants me to move in with them to take care of me and my unborn and my older daughter, because their son is not capable of caring... the leaving was much easier than the torture I am putting myself through each day I pray that I can be strong enough to not want him or to miss him, and to not see what is going on with his stuff.. I am so angry for letting him making me feel this helpless and full of pain, and for letting yet another man take me down the path of being abused..

It is good to choose to get off the roller coaster. When I left my ex my step-mom asked me what I wanted. "Peace and freedom", was my reply. Sometimes I am lonely, but leaving my abusive relationship was the best thing I ever did for myself and my kid.

It is like getting past an addiction. Hang on and get past the longing for what will never be. Abusers never change and they will always try to lure you back in. Don't take the bait and be strong. Congrats for getting out and hugs to you for your pain.

Congrats to getting out! You have a new life waiting you but you must, must, must embrace it.

AmIhereAgain: I don't want to highjack this post, but just wanted to say good luck to you. Keep him out and keep going. After you have the baby you can get reduced child care for low income mothers and maybe start working. Good luck to you.

Heres to finding non abusive men!

Your situation was same as mine for 8 years!! Emotional abuse went worse with time until i could bear no more, been out 9 months and dont love him anymore each day gets easier,however its easy that he is 120 miles away but that hasn't stopped him trying to lure me back, and when he doesn't get what he wants i get further emotional hurt from him, at a distance on the phone he can seem like the nicest man in the world but in person i can't stand the sight of him, the only answer is no contact and with each passing week him and the pain he caused me are further into the past.

Thanks, and thanks again for the replys
here, this original post is why I am in this
emotional abuse support group.
I feel very upset and sad today...
just, thinking, why did he chase
me to come back all of those times,
only to break my heart, again and again,
finally, playing games with me to
the point he was flirting and dating another,
while still telling me he loved me more
than her, and still wanted to be with me,
and was my friend, etc. etc.
Really, I feel as though I have been through
a storm, a battle, and
I'm really sad and feel hurt and
betrayed by my ex. I have stayed true
to staying away completely, and you
all have helped alot with that.
Thanks for sharing your struggles
with emotional abuse.