Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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time to grow up

sunsets1386
sunsets1386
Last night, my boyfriend came home from being away for the past 6 days and the whole time said how much he needed, loved, and missed me, and then got home and beraded me about how I didnt clean the house well enough, changed our plans bc he thought his roommate was coming home, and ignored me while he cleaned the RIGHT way. Told me I wasnt good for anything, I can not clean, cook, or make a lot of money. All three of these things are not true. It reminds me of my mom... if its not her way, then its all wrong. I stayed, and watched tv until he came in the room and cuddled up to me and began talking about his trip. Than yelled and screamed in my face about how emabressed he is that he even brought my name up to his family bc they all think I am crazy and apparently I still am... Its time for me to stop blaming these things on him and get out. We have no kids, just my codependence and neediness that is clinging to this relationship bc I feel I can not do better. Maybe I cant, but this cant be as good as it gets... love is supposed to feel good... everyone has fights, but this is daily.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'd run far away as soon as you can! My step dad is like that to my mom but she can't divorce him. I know you might feel like you need to stay in this relationship but you need to get away!
deleted_user
deleted_user
This boy is a Narcissistic Psychopath...truly diagnosable...no joke.

You can't change him and you need distance ASAP.
azkevin
azkevin
I've been there. I knew her criticisms were hard to deal with when I was in the relationship. But it wasn't until almost a month and a half after breaking up until I realized how damaging they were to my self esteem and my spirit. I suddenly realized I was still trying to live up to her "standard". And that "standard" was the illogical voice of an addict and an emotional abuser. I'm still slowly rebuilding myself. Half of me feels good that I can eat what I want, redecorate my house like I want, and hang out with who I want without her pretentious brain criticizing my choices. But a part of me still misses her from time to time. The best way I cope is by avoiding all contact with her, re-explore my hobbies, and hang out with the friends I have neglected over the past year. It also feels goot to do things exactly the opposite of what she would want me to do.
IleneW
IleneW
"Everyone has fights"
and being abused daily

are two very different scenarios.


There are no guarantees
in life, but one things is
pretty sure. . . . . .

you COULDN'T do WORSE.


RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
gogogiz
gogogiz
what an asshole. not only an abuser...but an asshole too. you can do waaaaaay better than that babe, way better.
its so hard to remember feeling good when all u feel right now is confusion and pain, disappointment and questioning yourself but if u help yourself to realize that you are worth more, that your worth is not dependent on his approval, you will find the strength within to stand up tall once again.
just keep feeding your own mind good positive loving thoughts & we'll all help you with that!!
lots of love.
xoxo
gogo
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyone has disagreements not fights imo. The differnce being to me fights indicate an attack on a person rather that be physical or emotional where as a disagreement is an expression of a differing of opinions minus character assasination or insults, aka abuse. Two very different things. In a healthy relationship two people can respectfully disagree where as in an abusive relationship a differing of opinions is not allowed and when it occurs the response becomes an attack with no respect given.
you know when it comes to someone who believes their way is the only right way to do something, imo then they are the ones who should always get to do it.
the problem isn't you or the way you do things, it's him, his sense of entitlement, superiority and his abuse. recognizung that a a good sign that you have grown up and are seeing things for how they really are not for how you wish they were.
you are absolutely right love is supposed to feel good and someone who really loves you won't intentionally hurt you.
Livndadrem
Livndadrem
I won't tell you that if you walk away from this "relationship" you will find someone wonderful who will truly love and value you for who you are. But you are at least giving yourself that chance.

You cannot find happiness with an abuser. You can find happiness without one.

Choose freedom, choose to live an abuse free life.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how it is like to be codependent and stuck in an abusive relationship. I was left by my abuser, and it was probably one of the best things to happen, even though it didn't seem it at the time. I am codependent also.
The thing you have to start thinking is that it won't get better. It's not healthy. You will always feel down, worthless, everything bad he tells you, until you leave. I'm glad you posted here because you at least have an idea. I know how hard it is, because I didn't leave my abuser, but looking back, I wish I did sooner. Trust me, it is soooo much better to be free! It WILL be hard, you WILL have bad days, but you WILL get through it. If you stick with your abuser, you will never get through it. Stay strong, we are here for you!!!
IleneW
IleneW
"""""You cannot find happiness with an abuser. You can find happiness without one.

Choose freedom, choose to live an abuse free life."""""""


AWESOME
deleted_user
deleted_user
Run Run and don't look back! This isn't gonna get better. Thirty five years of this I can tell you, I tried it all and he is still ill.... meds or no meds..... life is hard. He cost me one of my daughters and her family. Please find out why you put up with him and get the help you need to get away and stay away!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Fighting like this is NOT normal. This situation completely reminds me of my ex. I would try to do nice things for him and he'd yell at me for doing it wrong. He'd charm me back, then push me away and make me feel like dirt. I'm so glad you know yourself enough to know that he's feeding you a load of bull when he's upset. I believed my guy and I lost myself for a while because of that. Don't lose yourself. I promise, it does get better. The person who loves you will never want to hurt you on purpose like he does.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with everyone. It's abuse, and it does not get better, it's only a cycle...it continues in phases. I'm in the same situation and looking for a way out. He's emotionally abusive and very controling, but would never agree to any of that. We have broken up before and I just grabbed my stuff and left. This time I know that's not an option, I'm not sure how to get out. I know the converstation will not go well.

I hope things go smoother for you and you can get out as soon and safe as possible, it does not get better. Believe in yourself & be strong, you have the right ideas ;)
sunsets1386
sunsets1386
After reading these replies, a fight that lasted until 2am and another one about the fight last night this morning, I left. I went back to my moms who is also emotionally abusive. I keep telling myself don't text him, no contact, this has to end but in the back of my mind I know ill be back. Sad. I can no longer accept feeling worthless, unhappy, depressed and hopeless bc he is unhappy with his own life. I can not make anyone happy but myself, I deserve to feel happiness, so does he, we all do.