Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So it's been almost 2 weeks.
When i sent him a final e-mail explaining some of my feelings I had told him just to keep the stuff of mine he had and mail me my keys (he had one to my car and my apartment). I told him it would be too hard for me to see him face to face.
Today I get an e-mail: "Can I bring your stuff by this weekend?" I responded "Sure, just let me know when so I can make sure not to be there." Him, ":("
Why the sad face. The last text i got from him before i changed my number was telling me how selfish I was and how stressed I made him. That I wasn't a friend and I obviously never loved him because people who love you don't accuse him of the things I did and that he didn't have time for people like me in his life.
Why then do they get so sad when we tell them we don't want to see them? If I tell someone I don't have time for them in my life I usually do everything possible to never see them again. If I was so terrrible and made him so angry why the hell is he sad that I am not wanting to see him? I just don't understand how his brain works.
Background: He told me when we first met that he is the type of person who dismisses people quite quickly because he doesn't like drama. Why keep me around then? All we seem to do is have drama!
Anyone who can help me make sense of this please do.
When i sent him a final e-mail explaining some of my feelings I had told him just to keep the stuff of mine he had and mail me my keys (he had one to my car and my apartment). I told him it would be too hard for me to see him face to face.
Today I get an e-mail: "Can I bring your stuff by this weekend?" I responded "Sure, just let me know when so I can make sure not to be there." Him, ":("
Why the sad face. The last text i got from him before i changed my number was telling me how selfish I was and how stressed I made him. That I wasn't a friend and I obviously never loved him because people who love you don't accuse him of the things I did and that he didn't have time for people like me in his life.
Why then do they get so sad when we tell them we don't want to see them? If I tell someone I don't have time for them in my life I usually do everything possible to never see them again. If I was so terrrible and made him so angry why the hell is he sad that I am not wanting to see him? I just don't understand how his brain works.
Background: He told me when we first met that he is the type of person who dismisses people quite quickly because he doesn't like drama. Why keep me around then? All we seem to do is have drama!
Anyone who can help me make sense of this please do.
I think they get pleasure out of manipulating our actions - nothing more or less. Control is their high... He may suggest that he is sad - sad only that you are trying to exhibit some control...
Keep doing what you are doing. The rollercoaster of manipulation will become clear over time...
I guess I just try to over analyze it because it just doesn't seem that simple. And, I would never enjoy controlling anyone except myself so it makes no sense to me at all!
If I say I need him, I want to be with him -he pulls awasy because I am so hard to deal with.
If I express I have other plans or I am busy - He gets demanding requestingme to give him the attention. Often he gives orders such as " You are going to come with me right now".
It is a sickly circle and they will never give you emotional support at the time of need, so I am so glad you cut it off right here as you still can!
There is just no solution other than no contact whatsoever!!! Hopefully it will force him to move on to his next victim.
as his (or her) YO-YO.
He can't comprehend WHY you wouldn't want to be around his greatness should he choose to visit you.
When you try to make sense of why an abuser thinks a certain way, or acts a certain way, you'll find it's all complete NON-sense!
Ya the sad face is about...what others have said...losing his victim. It's sad for him that he has to start from scratch and groom a new one (oh, the work!)
I agree No Contact is so important to try to stay outside of the wacky world of an abuser.
Pfffft. It's to make you feel guilty, to keep you guessing, to keep you wondering, to keep HIM and his feelings at the forefront of your mind.
He told me when we first met that he is the type of person who dismisses people quite quickly because he doesn't like drama.
He is telling you you will not matter either!!!