Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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This is going to be hard

guycountry
guycountry
I have to do one of the hardest things I have done in a long time and that is go to my father and ask for help for college. This would normally not be a hard thing to do for a child except that my father was my abuser. He was the one that emotionally abused me and sometimes physically. I know what my family says about him, about how he has gotten better but at the same time I know that asking for help from him might just give him that nudge to manipulate people into thinking what a wonderful man he his and look at how his is helping his daughter. I am scared to do this but at the same time I know that this is the only way if I want to finish my degree.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If possible, can you ask for a loan? This way you are borrowing the money and won't feel beholden to him.

I understand completely. My son recently had a similar situation with his grandmother. He got turned down and now knows he needs to find a way to pay on his own.

If you do not get the money, there are other means of financing your education. Ask your financial aid department in college what your options are.
guycountry
guycountry
I have loans,scholarships and grants but with all of that I am still about 15 hundred below. My father has wanted a chance to proven he is different or at lest working on things. I have never given him the opportunity. As much as I don't want to admit it this might be the opportunity of maybe seeing the change that others have seen and I just refused to see. There still might be good from it but it is hard for me to see.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ask him. I know it's super hard- I was in the same situation. My parents have a history of being unkind to me, and I HATED asking for help, but I was able to. Just remember: even if he does throw it in your face in the future, it does NOT change his abusive past. He's still your abuser and he owes it to you to help you with your degree. College is worth it, believe me. It won't jeopardize anything if you don't let it- he owes you that much and it's his respinsibilty to help you. Don't be too hard on yourself
guycountry
guycountry
I ask and got a lovely lecture from him of how this is what the college finance people are there to help you with is to find money to continue and all. And the first thing out of his mouth when I told him I was in trouble was , "well what are you doing about it?" I just wanted to run it was so annoying to here the things that I should have done when I had already had done them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, he's not even going to help you- that isn't right. You're his child, he should do what he can to help you in any way possible, and he should show you he cares esp after all the hell he's put you through. Unbelievable. I am so sorry you had to hear that crap from him, it really isn't true or unfair. My father also did the same exact thing pretty much but eventually co-signed the loan. Maybe with time he will. Did you tell him how you feel about what he's done and what he's doing now? It sounds like he's the kind that will just make excuses and not own up to anything though, but maybe it will be worth a try? I hope he ends up helping you, that's the least he can do at this point
guycountry
guycountry
I did that along time ago don't want to go through it again. And he is going to help he is giving me $700 and trying to get that from him now is being a pain. I need to pay for my books give the last of the money to the college and so forth. I am sitting here just waiting. Yesterday I texted him asking if I could at lest get $200 now so I can get my books because class started and I am still waiting for that answer. I mean really is it that hard to write a check so I can go on with my life?