Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
For a year, a month, and ten days, this man gave me flowers, love notes and love letters, nice dinners, and wonderful dates. He gave me loyalty and devotion. Then, he went on a two week european cruise with his work.
He developed an emotional crush on a girl on the cruise.
The phone and mailbox was almost totally silent for two weeks while he was on the cruise. When I asked if he missed me, he replyed I don't miss our arguing. When I picked him up at the airport, he immediately started talking about this other woman on the cruise, and how unhappy it made him that her boyfriend was at the airport.
We got back to his apartment and he told me that I could NOT live with him anymore, or go to live in the new house he was going to rent. That was our plan; that we would move into a house together when he got back!He told me that I could not wear my engagement ring because he did not have insurance on it.
He told me that he flirted with this womanl on the bus, and drank wine in her bedroom, but that she wasn't interested in him, because she had a boyfriend. He said I needed to dress sexier. He started doing things like going by himself to explore at wine bars.
One day after his trip we got into a stupid argument, and he left a message on my phone that he didn't want to talk to me until January!
It was summer. A couple of months later, we had a one night stand. He said we can't do this anymore because I'm going to start dating a new woman... I love her. I want to date other women. Then he would not answer or return phone calls for a week, so I stopped all contact with him. I gave him my heart, I let him lead me on....... then just rejection and abandonment. Unfortunately, my heart is still crushed. I have had no contact with him for a year now. I need help, or advice, or just understanding, thank-you so much!!
He developed an emotional crush on a girl on the cruise.
The phone and mailbox was almost totally silent for two weeks while he was on the cruise. When I asked if he missed me, he replyed I don't miss our arguing. When I picked him up at the airport, he immediately started talking about this other woman on the cruise, and how unhappy it made him that her boyfriend was at the airport.
We got back to his apartment and he told me that I could NOT live with him anymore, or go to live in the new house he was going to rent. That was our plan; that we would move into a house together when he got back!He told me that I could not wear my engagement ring because he did not have insurance on it.
He told me that he flirted with this womanl on the bus, and drank wine in her bedroom, but that she wasn't interested in him, because she had a boyfriend. He said I needed to dress sexier. He started doing things like going by himself to explore at wine bars.
One day after his trip we got into a stupid argument, and he left a message on my phone that he didn't want to talk to me until January!
It was summer. A couple of months later, we had a one night stand. He said we can't do this anymore because I'm going to start dating a new woman... I love her. I want to date other women. Then he would not answer or return phone calls for a week, so I stopped all contact with him. I gave him my heart, I let him lead me on....... then just rejection and abandonment. Unfortunately, my heart is still crushed. I have had no contact with him for a year now. I need help, or advice, or just understanding, thank-you so much!!
I was a product of 'devalue & discard' more than once by my ex. It hurts that one minute we are their 'everything', and the next, we are terribly mistreated and tossed away like yesterday's left-overs.
Try to keep in mind this has absolutely nothing to do with you; you had the unfortunate circumstance of trusting someone who presented himself as the real deal. I had no reason to think my ex wasn't serious and completely devoted to me either (um, he proposed to me, went to great lenghts and expense to be with me...).
But things unfolded, and I found out that it was all a facade.
All I can say is, yes, our pain is real, crushingly so...but to this day I thank my lucky stars that the bas**** is gone. If they were still in our lives, the pain would be ongoing, and worse, imho. It takes work and time to heal...I'm 2 yrs out, and yes, it was tougher a year ago.
~Hugs to you~
you are worth more thatn sloppy seconds or a rebound when things dont go the way he expects. take care of yourself, and hang on, a good guy will come along. this guy isnt worth it. i know easier said than done, but you do deserve better.
You may wish to involve yourself in strong self-care activities to counter act this ugly situation.
I've had two situations when a person was very loving and enthusiastic towards me and then later had no "need" of me. This was hard to accept as I had that lovely previous picture which didn't go with the current one.
My best advice is to try to stay as self healthy as possible. This way if another unsuitable person comes along, you can shut the door before you make a losing investment.
Insecure men don't value their commitments any more than they value themselves.
2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men dont feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. Theres nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.
Don't allow him to do this to you again, no one deserves to be in a relationship like that, he's waisting your time when you can be with a WAY more better man than that.
I can't believe he had the nerve to even tell you that he was cheating, it's almost like he wanted you to be jealous of him, or something, but get out of that relationship as fas as you can, if he is having sexually encounters with these "strangers" (the other women) and then coming back to you, your health might be in danger. If he is having sex with women he doesn't really even know, that can be a health risk when dealing with STD's, especially when he wants to come back to you, then you know your in danger, it sounds bad, but realize you are the Innocent one in this relationship.
He is not kind - apparently - in fact he sounds cruel. Please find someone else - or get involved with something that you enjoy doing - and let this man fade from your mind. He is not worth the energy you are spending on him. Take care of you.