Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I think I just had the worst new years eve ever. But ironically, I'm ok with it. Basically we made plans to go to spend the night with his brother, brothers girlfriend, him and myself. To sum it up we spent the night waiting for him, including a nice dinner waiting for him and the whole bit. He never showed up! Needless, we ate a cold, overcooked dinner and worried about him the whole night. Later on to find out that he was binging on drugs by himself instead of spending the night with people he loves. I normally would've been so upset but this just proved to me that I will NEVER be able to help him.The abuse he's put me through and now this. He was already on a thread with me but this just confirmed things in my mind. I am still hurt but I need to turn this around finally and take this as my ending with him. I still love him but I need to start loving myself again. Maybe this really did happen for a reason. I've learned so much about myself through being with him. I've known for a long time that I needed to leave but I just wasn't ready. So this really is a new year, new beginning. He has too many problems and he can't be my worry any longer. I know it will be hard but it's been hard being in an abusive relationship.I don't deserve to settle for crumbs anymore. I should be able to get through anything, after being with him. So for 2009, I CHOOSE ME! (for the first time in a very long time)
Keep that thought and keep thinking like that!
Hugs, Julia x
I am going to put all the effort I can in putting myself first this year.
I hope it works our for you too.
Hugs
2009 will be YOUR year. I am so happy for you...you are an inspiration to all of us.
This is so true...When I reached a point where I finally realised, that he was not ever going to be my friend..(a friend cares about you..is a soft place to fall..is someone who you can trust with your life, who comes running when you feel hurt, who would be sorry if they hurt you) But in fact..I finally realised that he was the complete opposite, and that in reality, he was my worst enemy..
As soon as I fully and clearly realised that..I was finally able to move on and away from him for good.
Not only do you say you have you fully realised you will never be able to help him, but you now very likely also know you are never ever able to trust him, that you will never come anywhere even near first in his life, and if fact will likely always come last.
It is hard at first when you leave, but you're so right, its never harder than staying and being abused, and feeling the intense loneliness of being with someone, and being around them, yet also feeling abandoned and unloved.
These realisations can be pivitol in setting us free, I know they were for me...and I truly hope they will continue to be for you too...
Choosing 'you' will be the best thing you have ever done for yourself..and I know everyone here will be with you every step of the way, as they already are in response here, and will provide you with great words of encouragement, and with plenty of advice and comfort.....You do deserve so much better...