DO you have anxiety?? DO you have trouble with crouds or strange people??You really need to look at all this. Does your heart feel like it is going to beat out of yur chest if you are in a new place or if there is a new clerk a the check out?? Are you getting counseling? If so you should talk with them about al that. If not please get some. Go to the DV unit and they will help you also with dealing with all of it also. But I really tink you need help. I dont ever expect you to be a croud person again but still if you have to be in one I want to be sure you are comfortable too.

Hi. I know I answered another post of yours. I don't know much about you, but it seems clear you are working very hard to heal from the past. It takes time, so don't be hard on yourself, if some days just don't go well. I don't know if you see a counsellor to help deal with home security issues (mentioned in other post), loud noises, etc., but I am sure they could help you to work through these fears and overcome them in time. I know this site helps me a lot. There are a lot of good people here and it is a great way to stay connected. Keep hanging in there!

I have always hated the summer holidays - Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day - because it is always hot, crowded and people are full of beer. Huge crowds with people's senses dulled by alcohol has never been one of my favorite things AND I don't handle heat well, so put it all together and you usually find me seeking out refuge either by myself in some sort of a "retreat," or spending a quiet day with a few family or friends. I just don't do the public things anymore.

I said all that, mainly so that you know that you aren't alone in what you are feeling. I also need to tell you, however, that I also suffer with social anxiety and post-traumatic stress brought on by my abusive marraige. Even though I have always had a mild form of social anxiety, the PTSD has REALLY kicked that up several notches to the point right now that I have to utilize some serious cognitive processes in order to handle a crowd or a big event. I find that if I prepare myself for the crowded event, utilize certain breathing and visioning techniques that I can cope very well.

Any time a relationship ends, holidays and events (birthdays/anniversaries) can be especially difficult, because there are memory triggers associated with them. These can be good or bad memories, depending on the nature of the relationship, but regardless, when these memory triggers pop on you, you can suddenly have waves of greif, anxiety or just sadness.

Know that what you are feeling is a normal part of the greiving process. If it seems to be taking over your life, however, and navigating crowds or dealing with the loud noises is more of a daily occurence rather than one associated with the holiday, then I would encourage you to seek counseling. Cognitive processing can help you to work through your anxiety, uncover buried memories and feelings, and help you to cope with the trappings of every day life. I know that without it, I would be a basket case right now.