Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I know its better for me and everyone if I choose to keep NC. But I like many of my co victims here do feel the strong urge to tell him off!! I am so tempted and I dont know why but my anger is so hight yesterday and today and instead of giving him peace which I do not feel he deserves I want so bad to tell him off!! To throw all the stuff he did in his face. I kind of think I am having bi polar moments focused on him because I had been thinking of what he did and hs denial and I just felt like I want so bad for him to acmit what he did. I feel like he got away with it all. I dont want him to get away with it but I know that is up to God not me. I wish I could get relief from the way I feel. I dont want to feel it. I want justice!!!
I read somewhere that silence allows you to keep your dignity. Silence is definitely "heard" as you practice self care by going NC and not returning calls, text, email etc. and lastly, nothing says FU louder than silence.
If you are like me then you have already said everything ...multiple times. They just don't get it. Save your breath, your energy, your emotion and let your silence speak for you. Walk away from his drama.
Also, I too am a big fan of journaling, writing letters and not sending. It helps to get those feelings out.
Hope you find peace today...he is not worth it.
Seawee
Another thing that helps w/immediate anger is to roll up a newspaper or magazine and beat the crap out of an old pillow. Or you can buy one of those swim noodles at the dollar store & cut it in half & use that. There's something about physically moving the energy while releasing the words or noises that is very healing.
Honoring your feelings is very important because abusers never do. We must take back our power by honoring our own feelings, feeling them & the releasing them in whatever way works for us. This can take time, but it is worth it.
Big hugs to you.
And also to add, time and time again when I have been wronged by someone eventually or even very quickly I did get some justice. Either bad things would happen to them or good things would happen to me which would put me completely out of their realm. I never was a vengeful person and always knew that putting my energy into my own life was much more productive. I always prayed about these things. (I know I am talking a lot about prayer today).
I am also struggling with a lot of things at the moment, but I keep reminding myself as well about the above. I don't have the need to tell anyone off but I do agonise over some things now. Just keep trying, find your dream and put it into that, and I agree with the others about writing a letter, etc. But I still feel that prayer works better for me. That means I realise that I, alone, do not have everything i need to deal with this so I am asking for Higher assistance. All the best hun! xo