Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I have been struggling hard with no contact, and the truth is that I have slipped up more than I care to admit. I have had to face the truth about the reality of the life I have shared with him.
It was painful, almost totally so... There are days when I walk around thinking to myself 'Where did the man I loved go?' I have broken down in tears over this more times than I care to count. Over the years I saw less and less of the good. I became gradually devalued and tossed aside.
I am ashamed to admit this...
But, after one of my recent visits, I couldn't stand myself anymore. I couldn't stand the weakness of the person I had become. I felt so little value for myself, as if I was the most horrible person that ever walked the earth, that EVERYTHING that has gone wrong was my fault... Total emptiness and abandonment, is the only way I can describe it. I found myself on the floor of my bathroom wanting to die, literally. I have never felt like that before! Somewhere deep inside of me, in a place I can only describe as total grace, I decided to pick myself and come to this website.
It was your words, the words of every single person here that saved my life. I knew I wasn't alone, and that the emptiness and abandonment I felt was caused my abuse. I realized that if I killed myself, I would be letting him WIN!
I confronted him about all of his lies... Fyi, I have been replaced too... After coming here, I rethought my nagging suspicions that he was involved with someone else. I trusted my gut, and it was right.
Trust yourself!!! That is the best advice I could possibly give.
I have decided to go irrevocably NO CONTACT with him. No emails, no phone calls, no text messages, nothing. I am totally focused and devoted to my own healing.
I had to share this with all of you because I know many of you have been through the same thing. I have read your words when I needed hope! I hope this helps someone else find hope too!
It was painful, almost totally so... There are days when I walk around thinking to myself 'Where did the man I loved go?' I have broken down in tears over this more times than I care to count. Over the years I saw less and less of the good. I became gradually devalued and tossed aside.
I am ashamed to admit this...
But, after one of my recent visits, I couldn't stand myself anymore. I couldn't stand the weakness of the person I had become. I felt so little value for myself, as if I was the most horrible person that ever walked the earth, that EVERYTHING that has gone wrong was my fault... Total emptiness and abandonment, is the only way I can describe it. I found myself on the floor of my bathroom wanting to die, literally. I have never felt like that before! Somewhere deep inside of me, in a place I can only describe as total grace, I decided to pick myself and come to this website.
It was your words, the words of every single person here that saved my life. I knew I wasn't alone, and that the emptiness and abandonment I felt was caused my abuse. I realized that if I killed myself, I would be letting him WIN!
I confronted him about all of his lies... Fyi, I have been replaced too... After coming here, I rethought my nagging suspicions that he was involved with someone else. I trusted my gut, and it was right.
Trust yourself!!! That is the best advice I could possibly give.
I have decided to go irrevocably NO CONTACT with him. No emails, no phone calls, no text messages, nothing. I am totally focused and devoted to my own healing.
I had to share this with all of you because I know many of you have been through the same thing. I have read your words when I needed hope! I hope this helps someone else find hope too!
That tunnel that a lot of us are in, there is light at the end of it..... and this proves it.
This post just goes to show what faith in yourself does..
I wish you all the best for a happy,healthy and peaceful life.
Hugs from Susan x x
Your posts have helped me to discover a modality of healing to suppliment the work I am doing with my therapist. I would have never found it, if it were not for you! :)
I wish you all the best. Regards Susan x
They really do a number on us, and it's really REALLY hard to recover from. But it can happen.
I kicked my last abuser out 4 years ago last week, though didn't go no contact or join here for another 10 months after that. I used to read stories here of people saying how they had managed to find joy and happiness in their lives. And I felt so jealous (not in a nasty way - never begrudged them that), because I knew that it would never happen for me. I knew that I was damaged beyond repair by various abuses over pretty much my entire life. I knew that the very best I could hope for in life was to struggle on until my infant son no longer needed me, and then there would simply be no purpose to my life at all.
I KNEW I could not reach this place I've reached - where the abuse is a part of my story, but it's taught me self-reliance, it's taught me just how strong I really am. Being a single mother has taught me how resourceful I am and what unconditional love actually feels like. The work I have done on myself because of the abuse has taught me something of my true worth - rather than basing my worth on the opinion of someone who should never have had a right to enter my life, much less have an opinion on my worth. And so much more besides.
I still have work to do, but I'm happy. And I do NOT need the opinion of an abuser to know what I'm worth.
And whether you truly know it or not yet freedom, this post shows that you will get there too.