Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am trying to leave a dangerously abusive situation. It is amazing how much years of living with an abusive relationship takes a toll on you. I feel terrible about myself. There's so much anguish in that. I have to act like a demeaned, little girl to please my abuser. It's hard to fight when you feel that way. But I want so badly now to fight, fight, fight until I get away and until I get myself to a safe place (last time I ended up with somebody else who was somewhat abusive :/).
Anyone else identify with how hard it is to get away and recreate a life, when you already feel so terrible about yourself, etc.?
Anyone else identify with how hard it is to get away and recreate a life, when you already feel so terrible about yourself, etc.?
I would suggest you don't fight. Instead, I suggest that you contact a women's shelter & ask them to help you make a SAFE plan to leave. They will come and get you & bring people with them so you have protection when you leave.
The most dangerous time is when one leaves the abuser. That's why its so important to have a SAFE plan.
The women's shelter can also refer you to a therapist to help you rebuild your self esteem & feel better about yourself. Most shelters offer free support groups as well.
Please stay safe!
I'm very sorry about your situation. I do know the anguish of abuse and how it takes its toll and some days you just feel like giving up. I'm currently in a domestic violence shelter myself right now. My parents were abusive, then I married and abusive man, stayed with him 13 years. Then got in a relationship with a woman who aslo physically abused me. So I'm quite familiar with what you mean by fighting just to get through a day. When I left my husband, I left with what I could carry in my arms. Literally, so now I am struggling to get a job, need a place to live, all while trying to heal from all the abuse. Some days I do ok, others I feel broken and tired. But you do need to get out, even if you have to leave with very little. Try more shelters, maybe even consider some in a different state if none will help you where you're at. I know most women in our situations don't usually have family and friends to help, but if you can think of anyone at all then contact them. But just don't give up. Big hug
Domestic violence is just that, domestic. Most state laws include parent-child in the definition (for example, for getting restraining orders, etc.).
I agree, keep trying more shelters. Also, I believe there are nonprofit organizations to help people who have been in cults...? I don't know enough about this to give any good referrals or recommendations.
And I know, from my own life, how VERY hard it is to ask for help when the process of just getting out of bed to handle the day seems like more than you can manage.
It's when we are exhausted, feel broken and unable to fight another moment that taking care of ourselves becomes the most important thing to do. Self-care... it will give you some energy. Do one little thing nice for yourself every day - at least. Smile at yourself in the mirror, give yourself a lovely, kind pat on the cheek, stretch your muscles out for 5 minutes from your head to your toes .....
There is a safe place for you. You have the courage and willpower and intelligence and staying power to find it!