Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
my ex..my abuser was different. its like he was a leech moving from woman to woman sucking the life out of them and moving on leaving a trail of broken spirits.
i read so many posts here that say he doesn't want you to leave him. mine worked on my heart, twisting my words, blaming me for everything all the while paying for everything just to drop me on my face and leave me struggle so that i would believe that i should have acted differently, or done something differently so that he would stay with me. to make me believe that i did something wrong and just left me feeling like that.
sometimes those thoughts creep back into my head but i keep pushing them out, reminding myself, i did not do anything wrong. partying with girlfriends every so often is not wrong. wanting to go out with friends to visit is not wrong. we met while i was waitressing in a bar and i liked to go there to play pool and visit with people, it wasnt about drinking for me, it was about just going out but he got on the wagon and always put that place down, but as soon as he fell off, he ended up in worse places than that!
it was the typical merry go round but i was the one left feeling desperate for his love. i used to miss that man i fell in love wiht until i realized he didn't exist. it was just a facade.
how many women go through that? i was alone with 3 kids, just barely surviving and he came into my life, offered financial support, helped in the house, had fun with my kids then slowly the abuse started.
2 years later, i was a shell of my former self, nervous, anxious, questioning my sanity, wondering if i am a bad person for going out. it ended violently with him attacking me in my van, breaking it & leaving me stranded with no money and a broken vehcile & i stopped being afraid of his outbursts and i fought back. i called the police for help and i was the one who was arrested and he walked away and never looked back.
as i write this, i want to cry. i still have those questions with no answers. the only thing i do know is that he did all those terrible things to me b/c he wanted to. simple as that. im healing, i'm getting stronger every day. it's been under 2 months and i think he's finally stopped the drunk dialing me in the middle of the night.
this is for everyone out there who is wondering if they could have done someting differently to make it better. the answer is NO. there is nothing you can do to please an abuser. the only thing that pleases them is to inflict pain.
stay strong everyone!
gogo
i read so many posts here that say he doesn't want you to leave him. mine worked on my heart, twisting my words, blaming me for everything all the while paying for everything just to drop me on my face and leave me struggle so that i would believe that i should have acted differently, or done something differently so that he would stay with me. to make me believe that i did something wrong and just left me feeling like that.
sometimes those thoughts creep back into my head but i keep pushing them out, reminding myself, i did not do anything wrong. partying with girlfriends every so often is not wrong. wanting to go out with friends to visit is not wrong. we met while i was waitressing in a bar and i liked to go there to play pool and visit with people, it wasnt about drinking for me, it was about just going out but he got on the wagon and always put that place down, but as soon as he fell off, he ended up in worse places than that!
it was the typical merry go round but i was the one left feeling desperate for his love. i used to miss that man i fell in love wiht until i realized he didn't exist. it was just a facade.
how many women go through that? i was alone with 3 kids, just barely surviving and he came into my life, offered financial support, helped in the house, had fun with my kids then slowly the abuse started.
2 years later, i was a shell of my former self, nervous, anxious, questioning my sanity, wondering if i am a bad person for going out. it ended violently with him attacking me in my van, breaking it & leaving me stranded with no money and a broken vehcile & i stopped being afraid of his outbursts and i fought back. i called the police for help and i was the one who was arrested and he walked away and never looked back.
as i write this, i want to cry. i still have those questions with no answers. the only thing i do know is that he did all those terrible things to me b/c he wanted to. simple as that. im healing, i'm getting stronger every day. it's been under 2 months and i think he's finally stopped the drunk dialing me in the middle of the night.
this is for everyone out there who is wondering if they could have done someting differently to make it better. the answer is NO. there is nothing you can do to please an abuser. the only thing that pleases them is to inflict pain.
stay strong everyone!
gogo
Take care, and keep moving forward.
A facade is truly what abusers are about. And they can make you question your sanity. I can relate so much to what you wrote. Like you wrote, I have felt so long like a shell of my former self. Since I've decided to leave I'm slowly getting me back. I know it'll take time.
hugs