I'm sorry for your pain.

There are ways to
express anger that
aren't physical.

There's writing,
talking with people,
watching sports.

Also, initially, the
first goal of expressing
anger is not necessarily
to turn it into something
positive. That may come
with time, but. . . . particularly
when we're not yet away
from the abuser. . . . .

turning anger into something
positive isn't likely happen.

I hope you'll find safe
and appropriate ways
within your physical
capabilities, to
experience, express
and expel your painful
feelings.

Sending you hugs
and healing thoughts.

I'm afraid I can't really offer too much advice as I am still in the place you are but I wanted to let you know I can relate. My ex told me when it was close to the end that to him our marriage/relationship didn't seem "real" to him. I didn't quite understand what he meant at the time, but now I know he meant he never really loved me. He was never really committed to me and didn't take our marriage/vows seriously. To him it was just a piece of paper. And knowing that hurts like hell! Sometimes I get angry, but mostly when I think about this I get sad. It is the hardest part to accept in all this for me, I think. I wish wish I could get angry more often about this than sad. The fact that I don't get angry kind of scares me sometimes. I don't know if I'm just not "there" yet or if it won't come at all. If it doesn't, is that normal? I'm just finding lately that I feel best when I'm distracting myself with other activity as hard as it is still to get motivated to leave the house. Hugs!

I'm so sorry. Do you have anyone you can sit down with and talk about how you're feeling? Have you thought about counseling at all?

Amexdm, I don't know about trying to control anger. It's really really hard. Before I decided to leave and started preparing to. I felt like I had to swallow my feelings whether they be anger, sadness, guilt, self regret. It was b/c I didn't want to rock the boat so to speak! I would sometimes scream in my car w/ the radio blasting until I couldn't anymore. Or take and punch a pillow. Or to write about my feelings. Or to talk aloud about it. But now that I've decided to and am preparing to leave. I'm having a hard time keeping my mouth shut.
B/c I feel as if I've nothing to lose. I feel as if I want to tell him off! But Idk what would/could happen. Idk even how Im going to leave as should I leave a note. But if I did Idk if he would even read it. I hope that you can find some way to get your anger out. Take Care, Stay Safe and God Bless (((( hugs))))

Hello,,

All good replies thank you. Yes, I guess I am looking for a "safe" way to get rid of my anger. I would never hurt her. I think actually talking about it is great therapy but that doesnt help in the moment. I do have some great online friends that I confide in seriously.

When she said our marraige was a farce it hurt me but made me very angry. I know she was just pushing my buttons. But I wanted to go in the basment and like break things. I chose to leave the house and went to a friends. It worked. Sadly, we can control our anger and they can't.

Thanks all,

Amexdm