Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I am an survivor of child abuse, which I state only as a matter of clarification in the following.
In the family of my childhood, many things happened that I never understood and still don't, and I wouldn't concern myself with them now, except that I still have disturbing dreams as I try to fall asleep at night, and unwelcome memories that haunt my waking hours.
My father expressed only two emotions: a cold emotionless absolute silence that was not to be broken by anyone under threat of beatings, and his almost immature overblown anger in which I was punished for things others had done because I was often the only one of his five children around, and somebody had to be made to pay.
Humans have a full range of emotions including happiness, which I can't recall having ever seen my father express.
I never saw my father with a friend - he may not have had any. He spent all of his non-working time absolutely alone in the basement or in the garage, doing what I'm not exacly sure because those places were off-limits for me.
No real communication ever took place between myself and my father - he just wasn't a talker. So I find myself asking myself, "Was he a broken man?" Did something happen that made him this way? Was it something that happened in his childhood or when he was a grownup?
My father had rules for me that I had to live by as a child: I was not allowed to speak aloud, and I was not permitted to have friends. Also, I was called "that thing" rather than my name.
And now the unpleasant admission about myself. I have no real world friends and can't seem to make any, but not for lack of attempting, though I seem only to fail.
How do you make real world friends (outside of this website)? Is it a type of pursuit, like seeking a mate? Or does it just happen by ? How many friends should a person have? Where do you meet friends? Do you ever have to do uncomfortable things to meet people? Once you've become friends, how do you keep up the friendship? Do you find that you must initiate all of your friendships, or do other people sometimes approach you?
Beaumont
In the family of my childhood, many things happened that I never understood and still don't, and I wouldn't concern myself with them now, except that I still have disturbing dreams as I try to fall asleep at night, and unwelcome memories that haunt my waking hours.
My father expressed only two emotions: a cold emotionless absolute silence that was not to be broken by anyone under threat of beatings, and his almost immature overblown anger in which I was punished for things others had done because I was often the only one of his five children around, and somebody had to be made to pay.
Humans have a full range of emotions including happiness, which I can't recall having ever seen my father express.
I never saw my father with a friend - he may not have had any. He spent all of his non-working time absolutely alone in the basement or in the garage, doing what I'm not exacly sure because those places were off-limits for me.
No real communication ever took place between myself and my father - he just wasn't a talker. So I find myself asking myself, "Was he a broken man?" Did something happen that made him this way? Was it something that happened in his childhood or when he was a grownup?
My father had rules for me that I had to live by as a child: I was not allowed to speak aloud, and I was not permitted to have friends. Also, I was called "that thing" rather than my name.
And now the unpleasant admission about myself. I have no real world friends and can't seem to make any, but not for lack of attempting, though I seem only to fail.
How do you make real world friends (outside of this website)? Is it a type of pursuit, like seeking a mate? Or does it just happen by ? How many friends should a person have? Where do you meet friends? Do you ever have to do uncomfortable things to meet people? Once you've become friends, how do you keep up the friendship? Do you find that you must initiate all of your friendships, or do other people sometimes approach you?
Beaumont
I understand your struggle to meet people. I wonder the same thing. How do two people meet? What do you say? I recently created a Dailystrength.org business card that gives a brief discription of what DS is and my username. I plan to give it to people who I think I could possibly become friends with or come across in places like the bookstore. I actually met someone there and told him about the website. I didn't feel comfortable giving my full contact info so I gave him my username instead. We have been hanging out more and it helps to know that he reads my journals and is still willing to talk to me. I guess it is comforting to know he doesn't think I am crazy.
Not sure what else to say... so (((HUGS)))