Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
This is the only place I can come to.
I know that I shouldn't have contact with my ex but last night he called me and I answered. He was being nice at first but then when I didn't come see him like he wanted me to he basically got mad and I was doing everything to keep him from being mad at me. Why do I do that? I felt like a weak puppy. I told him I have to work and I cant just pick up at 10 o clock at night and come see you. He called me a pu**y and he said every time I try you always come with excuses. I'm like you call me late at night wanting to see me and expect me to just jump out of bed just to please you. I told him not to call me names. He said I can talk to you anyway I want to. I know I should not have done this but I told him I would go see him the next day and he said no I am going to be doing something else and wont have time for you he was like ill probably be sleeping. I am not going to say I am sick of this anymore because I keep letting him do this to me. I know what I need to do but my heart is telling me different. This is not the strong women that my mom and grandmother raised. I never would let a man do me like this and talk to me any kind of way. I've got to get that old women back. I am crying because I don't know how to let this guy go. I get the blame for everything and can never do anything right. I am more stressed than ever.
I know that I shouldn't have contact with my ex but last night he called me and I answered. He was being nice at first but then when I didn't come see him like he wanted me to he basically got mad and I was doing everything to keep him from being mad at me. Why do I do that? I felt like a weak puppy. I told him I have to work and I cant just pick up at 10 o clock at night and come see you. He called me a pu**y and he said every time I try you always come with excuses. I'm like you call me late at night wanting to see me and expect me to just jump out of bed just to please you. I told him not to call me names. He said I can talk to you anyway I want to. I know I should not have done this but I told him I would go see him the next day and he said no I am going to be doing something else and wont have time for you he was like ill probably be sleeping. I am not going to say I am sick of this anymore because I keep letting him do this to me. I know what I need to do but my heart is telling me different. This is not the strong women that my mom and grandmother raised. I never would let a man do me like this and talk to me any kind of way. I've got to get that old women back. I am crying because I don't know how to let this guy go. I get the blame for everything and can never do anything right. I am more stressed than ever.
The abuser's most powerful tool is the attack over your self - esteem and that's how you feel like you need him. That's how you won't leave so easily.
Try observing the deeper layers of the situation.
I urge you to attempt
to go NO CONTACT.
As long as you
interact with him,
he will spin you
until you're dizzy.
In nothing else,
take a temporary
break. Even THAT
will benefit you.
The strong woman
is in there, she's
just dizzy from abuse.
Give her a chance
to get her equilibrium
back!
The more you interact
with him, the more
stressed you will be.
The less you interact
with him, the LESS
stressed you will be.
Give it a try!
What usually happens is that like children these types get bored and they leave you at some point (usually not before doing something really nasty to you ) with all the pain of the abuse and the regret that you were not the one who left them.
You can avoid that, by choosing for yourself.