Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
My mother who abused me so much as a child came in for a visit this past weekend. I have not seen her for over a year and a half. I was uncertain if I could keep my mouth shut-well I did. But to make matter really bad my aunt, her sister, took over the weekend. All I wanted was a nice family dinner with everyone except my cousins husband.
See my cousin has two boys from different fathers and daughter from her current husband who loves to whack children and woman. He also thinks I am a pervert who rapes boys because I do so much for them and spend so much time with them. She goes from thinking I am okay to thinking I either trying to kill, kidnap or rape the boys. Also he doesnt want me seeing the children, even though I do almost every day and will be driving them to school each day!!
I did not want him there. My aunt said he promised not say anything. True to his word, he only said hi as he walked past me, but my anger was there. While waiting for our table he outright called me a pervert-I was pissed beyond measure at this point. Then as we are getting to the table and my aunt and I are getting seating arrangements worked out the wife walked in and ordered me to the other end that he did not want anywhere near the kids-DUH! Thats what we were doing, but he sat on the far end, then his wife, then the children. So if I am so evil why doesnt he even try to protect any of them-and he had several beer before arriving and several while there.
I did take a break from dinner to call my grandfather and get some stress release. To top it off my aunt says the whole evening went well-bullshit! And she knows some of what he said, I know there was more but I only heard one part clear. I am not a pervert and I hate his ass.
Should I have stood up for myself more and refused to go or be more vocal at dinner? Roy the oldest kept it together quite well. I did not, I was so anxious I had to take a sleeping pill when I got home and hardly ate any dinner. I am just so damn mad and everyone thinks it went so well. At least I did not kill him.
Also my mother made it home okay...someday I will have a talk with her about the past...just not now.
See my cousin has two boys from different fathers and daughter from her current husband who loves to whack children and woman. He also thinks I am a pervert who rapes boys because I do so much for them and spend so much time with them. She goes from thinking I am okay to thinking I either trying to kill, kidnap or rape the boys. Also he doesnt want me seeing the children, even though I do almost every day and will be driving them to school each day!!
I did not want him there. My aunt said he promised not say anything. True to his word, he only said hi as he walked past me, but my anger was there. While waiting for our table he outright called me a pervert-I was pissed beyond measure at this point. Then as we are getting to the table and my aunt and I are getting seating arrangements worked out the wife walked in and ordered me to the other end that he did not want anywhere near the kids-DUH! Thats what we were doing, but he sat on the far end, then his wife, then the children. So if I am so evil why doesnt he even try to protect any of them-and he had several beer before arriving and several while there.
I did take a break from dinner to call my grandfather and get some stress release. To top it off my aunt says the whole evening went well-bullshit! And she knows some of what he said, I know there was more but I only heard one part clear. I am not a pervert and I hate his ass.
Should I have stood up for myself more and refused to go or be more vocal at dinner? Roy the oldest kept it together quite well. I did not, I was so anxious I had to take a sleeping pill when I got home and hardly ate any dinner. I am just so damn mad and everyone thinks it went so well. At least I did not kill him.
Also my mother made it home okay...someday I will have a talk with her about the past...just not now.
Only you can decide if something resulted in success or not.
For me, (yes ---- I'm from an extremely dysfunctional family) ---- success for me was removing myslef from the dysfunction, entirely.
Out of a large, extended family, I'm only in contact with a handful who've shown themselves to be respectful and loving. All the others are on their own.
If you're needing drugs to get to sleep, when you get home, then you need to re-evaluate what's the best action to take, in the future.
(Obviously, killing someone will effect your future, drastically. It's also bad for your kharma. Good idea to avoid it.)
Please take care. Try and choose actions that don't compell you to reach for meds, to recuperate.