Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Guys who are able to respect women would never put their hands on them, would never yell of them for small reasons .. they would walk away instead and come back later when they are calm... emotional ad physical abuse is not ok... so no women need to tolerate that... I am about to move out from the abusive environment... I just got to get a trustworthy responsible room mate first because I need to share financial burden of rent payment with someone I can trust... second step would be to find a respectful guy...and if I don't find nobody then I will settle for having a couple of gentle and respectful friends in alanon (family of alcoholics and drug addicts)... I forgot to mention my husband has the disease of alcoholism, drug addiction and mental illness on top of it (bipolar disorder and maniac depressive syndrome)... I did endured him for the last 12 years but I became emotionally ill as result .. I developed fears, panic attacks, depression, anxiety as result as long term living in abusive and sick environment... any of you want say what you have in your mind about respect versus disrespect which goes hand in hand with abuse
though I'm sorry for the
circumstances that
have brought you here.
This:
877-785-2020
is the number for your
state's women's resources.
I urge you to give them a call.
Substance abuse and
mental illness seem to
swirl around abusive
behavior patterns.
In my personal and
professional experience,
abuse is most often the
result of emotional injury.
Substance abuse often
accompanies abusive
behavior patterns but
is seldom the starting
point. Mental illness
may be the cause of
abusive patterns but
isn't the starting point
as often as emotional
injury tends to be.
In any case, where
the pattern comes
from is less pertinent
than what we do to
remove ourself from
its crosshairs.
Sounds like you've
taken some great
steps forward. I
do urge you to give
the number I listed
a call. You'll likely
find there will be
valuable support
at the women's center.
Please take good
care of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
safety and happier
days ahead.
Sure, I will be happy to comment on respect. I have lived through many abusive relationships, starting with my parents and brother when I was a child. Because my life began in an environment of abuse, that was all I knew; and I had a hard time requiring respect from my significant other once I grew up. Despite being highly successful in academics and sports, I had a hard time respecting myself in my career. So this lack of personal respect for myself was incredibly damaging.
One of the first steps to healing from abuse, in my opinion, is to give ourselves the respect we deserve. If we've lived with an emotionally, verbally, physically, or spiritually abusive parent or partner for any length of time, it can become difficult to leave because we get so used to this treatment that we think it's all there is for us. We lose our ability to be able to see various options that are open to us. So my statement on respect is this: "Give it first to yourself, then to others."
I hope that's helpful!
We can't demand respect of others until we love ourselves.