you have been so strong. think about how proud you should be of yourself. i know that they talk alot here about Ilenes cards. if you have them look at them...if not..perhaps write down the things that he has done in the past to you, or said to you and your son. Or, is there a friend to call and occupy your time?

They also talk here alot about self care...to do something that you enjoy and nice for yourself. but, is there something about this time of year or that happened recently that is triggering your need to have emotional support from him?

i think it's good that you have come here to talk. it is good to get your feelings out, either here or with a friend that you can trust.

i personally, admire you for getting away from him and sticking to your guns for a whole year.

what is it that you would say to him or want to talk to him about? maybe write it down on paper...then take it from there..don't send.

hug.

What Elana said!!

Plus it might help to know that its not unusual to experience a resurgence of these kinds of feelings around anniversary dates. Any time you get the urge to contact him post here or write in your journal or do something nice for yourself until the urge passes. It will get better.

Big hugs to you!

Feeling the pull back is so hard. You feel so torn. But you accomplished a whole year of nc that is wonderful. Follow your heart but definitley reminder what he did that made you stay away to begin with. Remember how much he hurt you so you know what you'd be getting yourself into.

I think this is so far downt the road it would be such a giant step backwards to contact him and I have a hunch if you did you would be rejected and it would hurt you even more. Why go backwards when you have done so well. This is just a weak moment you need to put the urge off and it will go away! Do something else for yourself this weekend and please don't do it!! I wish you well! Hope u make it throgh the weekend!! Hugs!!