Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I allowed myself to reengage with my ex when he contacted me back in mid August. I tried to remain NC but I failed. Though this time it was a friendship, no intimacy..it still screwed up my head and my emotions. The last time I seen him was Oct 21 and we parted on good terms, though I knew he had not changed and he was most likely seeing someone even while he was trying to draw me in to something more than friendship. I knew this as I found panties at his place (twice) and he had told me before we even agreed to hang out again that he was not seeing anyone.
I foolishly thought we could take it slow, try friendship, build from there, keep sex out of the equation and maybe he had realized what he had in me and lost over the 9 months of NC. My lesson from this, They don't or won't change and they don't realize loss or always keep someone in play even whilst working on you so they don't feel loss. Not sure and in trying to figure out the why of him, I have lost so much of myself.
Why does this man keep the stuffed animals I have given him on display in his bedroom as if I am someone important yet have panties of another women there as well? Why does this man call to check on me for days on end, then go silent for days?
How can a person parade someone around as if they are a shiny toy they are proud of and yet not talk to them for weeks, when they miss a phone call or two? Promise them trips, get them a photo id, talk to their father to get them off work even, then totally forget the person?
I have not heard from him since the Tuesday before last and I did not take the call as he had ignored me totally that weekend, no calls, no texts, nothing.
I have heard nothing out of him since the call on Oct 29. I decided yesterday to take my power back other than just NC by phone by deactivating the FB account I was on where I was friends with his friends and making another one, and also taking a further step and blocking anyone who has anything to do with him. I can't block him right now as he is deactivated.
I do have his work and cell number set on reject.
It is in my mental, emotional and physical well being to keep him out of my life.
Asking for positive thoughts and prayer. I hope I have the strength needed to do this for the final time.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.
I foolishly thought we could take it slow, try friendship, build from there, keep sex out of the equation and maybe he had realized what he had in me and lost over the 9 months of NC. My lesson from this, They don't or won't change and they don't realize loss or always keep someone in play even whilst working on you so they don't feel loss. Not sure and in trying to figure out the why of him, I have lost so much of myself.
Why does this man keep the stuffed animals I have given him on display in his bedroom as if I am someone important yet have panties of another women there as well? Why does this man call to check on me for days on end, then go silent for days?
How can a person parade someone around as if they are a shiny toy they are proud of and yet not talk to them for weeks, when they miss a phone call or two? Promise them trips, get them a photo id, talk to their father to get them off work even, then totally forget the person?
I have not heard from him since the Tuesday before last and I did not take the call as he had ignored me totally that weekend, no calls, no texts, nothing.
I have heard nothing out of him since the call on Oct 29. I decided yesterday to take my power back other than just NC by phone by deactivating the FB account I was on where I was friends with his friends and making another one, and also taking a further step and blocking anyone who has anything to do with him. I can't block him right now as he is deactivated.
I do have his work and cell number set on reject.
It is in my mental, emotional and physical well being to keep him out of my life.
Asking for positive thoughts and prayer. I hope I have the strength needed to do this for the final time.
Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.
Find your strong. Take precious care of you right now. And please keep NC. You will come through this to a better existence.
Hugs to you,
LT
- you were smart and cautious enough to approach things slowly and not jump right back into things
- You recognized that things weren't right and went back to NC
That is excellent personal progress!
I wish you the best.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
GREAT news that you are now NC again!
Huge hugs xxx
Thank you for posting your experience--- it gives me insight into what I can expect if I do go back. I know that I am contemplating going back and although I have no reason to or not to..... reading about other's experience is helpful.
Thank you for sharing!
Azkevin, thank you for pointing out that I did make some progress this time around. That made me feel a bit better about my slip up. I am so discouraged with myself for lasting 9 months of NC only to throw it away again. This time will hopefully stick.
remarried I had "an affair" with him just for spite.
I just hated to give up as bad as it was.
This one has not been as blatently abusive, as far as calling me bad things or stalking me like the others. He just cannot be monogamous and is not capable of telling the truth. He is also an addict so has those behaviours as well.
I have gave him 3 chances as a couple and 2 more at friendship without intimacy. Whether I stay away for 3 months or 9 months, he does not change. I am not really even angry at him at this time, more angry at myself for enabling his behavior and disappointed in time lost, been on and off with him since 2011. Time I should of spent working on myself. I will give myself some credit, I did not date anyone else and drag them into this.
Thanks for your support and I wish anyone who is currently trying to get out of an abusive situation the strength and belief in themselves to do so. Love and light...
is different.