Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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Start of physical and emotional abuse? Please hel

anom6312
anom6312

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. It happened fast, we have a 4 month old.  The other night he got really mad because I wanted to move furniture around and it was an inconvenience for our roomates,  I moved everything back when he had moved everything that I had rearranged and he threw my piano keyboard out in the trash and I got upset and I grabbed his clothes and was telling him that I was going to throw them outside.  Well that didn't happen in argument started and everything he grabbed my wrist and held me against the wall and told me to calm down and when I wanted to go to the other room he wouldn't me when I finally got away he pinned me down on the bed and told me that he couldn't leave me crying and so on.  He tells me constantly that this relationship is over and to get out of the house and if I do leave him then I won't mess up the babies future  he constantly guilt trips me about the baby and about finances.  Is this the start of emotional and physical abuse?  I don't want this to get it even worse.  The next day he got me flowers and this movie that I really wanted to watch I don't know if that's just part of his way of saying he was sorry or what 

albertsdaughter
albertsdaughter
I feel horrible for you! Is this the first time you've been in a relationship that has become abusive because it does sound like abuse to me. I've been with my partner for 12 years and I have dealt with the 'control' and verbal/emotional abuse that had happened at times and had just accepted it, but in the past 3 months, it has gotten worse and now has become physical also. I recently started a job about 7 months ago and since I'm not home during the day and gone, my partner has accused me of cheating while I'm at work, and has actually tried to choke me twice in the past week. I've talked to two of my co-workers and my director knows and they all tell me that I need to leave, but we have two children (adult) that live with us and I love my partner so very much and honestly, feel guilt also if I leave because of the love and when we fight and the aftermath of the 'honeymoon stage', my partner cries and tells me how much she loves me, so then I feel that I need to stay and make this work, and also I have guilt because I don't think she could make it financially as I could, so I think about that aspect also. It's hard because you are in love with your boyfriend and want to make it work as I am in my marriage, but I am getting to a brick wall, and honestly am getting literally scared of my partner, so I understand where you are coming from and I've never allowed someone in my life to control me to this aspect. I literally stopped listening to the music I loved, the foods that I loved, the movies/tv shows I love just to make my partner happy, but I am at a loss right now and thought this website could maybe give me insight and possibly strength. I am here to listen too, and my heart does bleed for what you are going through.
h.e.a.l.
h.e.a.l.
What you've described
isn't the "start" of abuse.

It IS abuse.

In fact, it's criminal.
It's called unlawful restraint
and destruction of property.

It WILL get worse.

Soon, your baby will be
absorbing the abuse
s/he is living in. It will
damage your child.
Guaranteed.
It will also destroy you
and you now have a
dependent.

Get to your nearest
women's center TODAY
and have them help
you make a SAFETY PLAN
on how to end this and
get you and your baby
safely away.

Every day you stay,
you and your baby
are in greater and
greater DANGER.

DON'T WAIT.

Sending you hugs
and wishes for
safety and
better days ahead.
bribit99
bribit99
My mom stayed thinking it was best. At 31 I now have.continued the cycle myself....abuser and abused. I am codependent. Get out. Your baby will be happy in a 1br with no yelling anger tension and STABILITY. Research the abuse cycle. His apology is the honeymoon phase after the action of abuse. It starts with this is good for you manipulation. Call me when you get the bc I wanna make sure you're ok. Nope. Nuh-ugh. Make your value known and get out. You can always go back...should you choose. But you should WANT a relationship and it should bring you up at all times.
h.e.a.l.
h.e.a.l.
Would it be possible to
rent storage space for
your inventory?
h.e.a.l.
h.e.a.l.
!!!Sorry!!! My post above
was meant for another
thread!
Thesunwillcomeouttomorrow
Thesunwillcomeouttomorrow
I am so sorry you are being abused. This is both physical and emotional abuse-and you don't deserve it. This will NOT get better-it is likely to get worse.

Your baby is in danger even if she is not the target of abuse. Living in an environment where abuse of any kind is going on the stress that this causes changes brain development in children. Think of every thing you do to foster good development for your baby from good nutrition to the kind of play you have with her-its being cancelled out by the stress hormones working negatively on the brain which are released in an abusive environment. There is damage that can be done, without him using a hand against your child, that you won't be able to see for years if you stay. I wish someone had explained that to me years ago, my daughter would be much better off for it I believe.

Have you seriously considered leaving? Have you considered contacting a women's shelter just to know what resources might be available to you? Reaching out to this support group is a great step towards making your life better. Its one step at a time and you'll get there.