Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I was wondering how Others on here might feel about this. I'm positive that there are Others who have experienced Someone like this before. My Bf will talk to Me sometimes about what He supposedly wants to do for " US ", in order to " Better Our Lives " in the Future. Then a little while later that Same Day, or maybe the Next Day, He'll be YELLING AT ME calling Me STUPID, LAZY, ETC... and like just This Morning, He'll call Me a ' DUMB ASS ' because I didn't READ HIS MIND about what He wanted Me to do in the Kitchen BEFORE I ate My Lunch ! ALL He said was I EXPECT EVERYTHING in the Kitchen to be ' TAKEN CARE OF ' by the Time I get back ! When I dared to ask what " EVERYTHING " involved besides putting some dishes in the dishwasher, He told Me to " OPEN MY EYES, and STOP BEING SUCH A DUMB ASS, AND JUST GO LOOK ! " HOW HARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN for Him to simply tell Me He wanted Me to fill the Ice Cube Trays up !? YES !.. Believe it, or not, ALL of that RAVING on His Part was because of STUPID ICE CUBE TRAYS ! The RAGING Look He gave Me when He was Yelling those HATEFUL Things at Me had Me scared that He was about to HIT ME ! I just sat where I was, frozen sitting on the edge of the Bed. I waited to even leave the Bedroom until He had gone in Another Room of the Apartment.
Among MANY OTHER Things that I DON'T understand about how He behaves, I ALSO don't see HOW He can honestly Talk about Our " FUTURE " when He acts that Way Towards Me !?!?! HOW can He Think that I would WANT a Future of being Treated that Way constantly ?! In Answer to My Own Question, I suppose maybe it's mostly My Fault since I've put up with so much from Him for so Long now, He must think I'll never get tired of it !
BUT... going back to My Subject Title for this Discussion... Does it sound like He may have a Split Personality ? OR is He just Psycho ? LOL... He claims He has Bi-Polar Disorder, BUT He REFUSES to get Help for IT ! PLUS, I can't help wondering IF that's just a cop-out He uses for His CRUEL, AND RAGE-FILLED, Behaviour !?
IF You're going to USE Something like that as an EXCUSE though, SHOULDN'T YOU BE DOING ANYTHING POSSIBLE TO GET HELP FOR IT ?????
I've told Myself that DESPITE EVERYTHING I've put up with from HIM, and STILL put up with, that I still Love Him Very Much. BUT, when He directs such PURE RAGE at Me, I question whether He Truly Loves Me, OR NOT. When He's in a RAGE that terrifies Me, I even wonder IF He really knows HOW to TRULY LOVE ? I just don't know.
Lately He's talked a LOT about wanting to " get this ", or " get that ", for " US " in the Future .... BUT He's Missing the POINT ! Material Things... NO MATTER HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS HE EVENTUALLY GETS...Will EVER CURE HIS RAGE ! Do You think He might be Thinking that in Some Way His OFFERS to get different " Things " will somehow ' MAKE UP ' for His Behaviours ????? Could that be the Case ? I just don't know. I'm in a Confused State Today as You can tell. I'm just HOPING that ANYONE who reads this will be able to make some sense out of it ! LOL
Among MANY OTHER Things that I DON'T understand about how He behaves, I ALSO don't see HOW He can honestly Talk about Our " FUTURE " when He acts that Way Towards Me !?!?! HOW can He Think that I would WANT a Future of being Treated that Way constantly ?! In Answer to My Own Question, I suppose maybe it's mostly My Fault since I've put up with so much from Him for so Long now, He must think I'll never get tired of it !
BUT... going back to My Subject Title for this Discussion... Does it sound like He may have a Split Personality ? OR is He just Psycho ? LOL... He claims He has Bi-Polar Disorder, BUT He REFUSES to get Help for IT ! PLUS, I can't help wondering IF that's just a cop-out He uses for His CRUEL, AND RAGE-FILLED, Behaviour !?
IF You're going to USE Something like that as an EXCUSE though, SHOULDN'T YOU BE DOING ANYTHING POSSIBLE TO GET HELP FOR IT ?????
I've told Myself that DESPITE EVERYTHING I've put up with from HIM, and STILL put up with, that I still Love Him Very Much. BUT, when He directs such PURE RAGE at Me, I question whether He Truly Loves Me, OR NOT. When He's in a RAGE that terrifies Me, I even wonder IF He really knows HOW to TRULY LOVE ? I just don't know.
Lately He's talked a LOT about wanting to " get this ", or " get that ", for " US " in the Future .... BUT He's Missing the POINT ! Material Things... NO MATTER HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS HE EVENTUALLY GETS...Will EVER CURE HIS RAGE ! Do You think He might be Thinking that in Some Way His OFFERS to get different " Things " will somehow ' MAKE UP ' for His Behaviours ????? Could that be the Case ? I just don't know. I'm in a Confused State Today as You can tell. I'm just HOPING that ANYONE who reads this will be able to make some sense out of it ! LOL
The chaos they create is actually part of the way they get, and maintain power and control over us. It is what they do do make sure that all your attention is paid to them And it's working too, isn't it. Here you are trying to find some way to figure it out and hopefully make it stop. But it's not going to stop. It's going to get worse and you will go right on blaming yourself some way because that is what we do. I did it constantly. If I was nicer, smarter, prettier, better in bed, he wouldn't be this way. Well, they are just this way. This chaos is actually what they crave. It puts them in control and takes whatever it is we want out of the equation.
Does he truly know how to love? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the answer is no. The only person an abuser truly loves is themselves. And to them their behavior is getting then what they want which is power and control.