I'm feeling there's a lot of good conversation going on here today, and I felt the need to share something that I've been processing.

It is a horrible thing that any of us have to endure the cruelty, the dehumanization, the snuffing of self that comes from abuse. The ones who have escaped, the ones who are escaping, the ones who are just realizing that they might need to... it's an ugly, horrible place we've ended up. it's ok to be discouraged, to be sad, or afraid, angry, confused and frustrated. Those are natural emotions, and reasonable ones considering what we're going through. But let yourself feel the other emotions, too. Thing is, emotions don't control our choices. The bible says pretty clearly in both the old and new testaments - be angry, but do not sin. Even when we're in the grip of strong emotions - we're still in charge of what actions we take.

But I'd like to look at positive things for a moment. It's my experience that those who are here share many common traits.

First, we're all abused. Isn't it nice to be able to talk and know that the other person knows exactly what it feels like?

We're all introspective. We're trained to be. Bad things can happen if we're not careful. We pay attention to ourselves, to what we're feeling, and are pretty good at spotting those little traps in faulty reasoning. Once we're away from the abuser, that's a trait that will serve us well.

We're all perceptive. Again, trained to be. Sometimes, I swear it's like a super power, or Shawn from Psyche. We've got to be. Again, bad things happen if you miss that subtle clue. Get away from the abuser, again - this is a fantastic skill once we're not limited to applying it to them.

We're sympathetic and empathetic. We've felt some of the worst emotions in creation. We spot it, and our heart goes out to others when they're struggling. It's the bars of the cage that hold us, and we need to work on balancing and being just sympathetic to ourselves as to others. There's a vulnerability there, though that, if you can handle the pain that sometimes comes when people take advantage of it (and shame on them for doing so!) it's one of the hallmarks of being a truly good person.

We're strong. We've borne the worst treatment possible for years. Because we're loyal, and devoted, and empathetic, and we feel love and compassion. Eventaully, the burden, the damage will prove to overwhelm us. And even then, our first instict is sorrow that we aren't stronger. But how long did we endure an unendurable burden? Be proud you've made it so far!

We feel emotions strongly. HUGE strength. There are people out there who live little, dull, bland lives, barely aware of what it is to be joyful, or sorrowful, or feel deep pain or fierce pride. Yeah, it makes things complicated and unpleasant at times. But I wouldn't trade that ability to feel deeply for any amount of peace. For every sorrow I feel today, I know I'm capable of feeling comparable joy. When I'm in a different place. Someday. But if it's as good as the pain is - it's gonna be AWESOME! An esential element of artistry - if you don't think you're an artist, you just haven't found your medium yet. Share those emotions however you know best - someone out there will get it, and then - bam - you've got art:)

We're brave. We have to face the deepest, darkest fears all of humankind has to offer. Our natural fear at being alone is strengthed by them. Our natural defenses against that fear are eroded and erased. We are made weak against that one foe. We tremble at how fearsome the foe is. And then... as we learn... we steel ourselves and walk into that black night of total and eternal solitude. And then...we slowly realize that it was an illusion. What a joyeous realization that is! But those who sit, trembling will never know the warm, glorious summer on the other side of that black cloud. We've already taken that first step, coming here. Admitting that something is wrong, and we may have to face that fear that so many blithely ignore. And that brings me to my final point:

We're wise. We seek the truth. We're here, aren't we? We're willing to face unpleasant possibilities, so long as we can find the truth. So many others put on the blinders, and cannot look past what they 'know' to be true. Not us. We tacle unpleasant truths, and incorporate them, making them parts of ourselves. Right now, it's out of necessity, learn or die type approach. But the ability to learn is the ability to grow. Once you're free of the abuse, you can, if you choose, continue to grow and learn. Terry Pratchet once wrote "There is a sound that trees make as they grow, that is not noticable by humans, being spread out across centuries as it is. But when the growth cycle is compressed into a few moments, humans can hear the sound that trees make. And that sound is:

VRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!"

And that's the sound that we make when we break free. The sound of pure, rapid, unrestrained growth.

There's a lot more than these - I look forward to hearing what y'all have noticed. These are just my observations, and you may not feel like they apply to you. They may not. I could be wrong. They may, and you just don't know it yet. I could be wrong, but only if you could be wrong, too :) I pray that all of you that actually read this far will, in the next 24 hours, experience at least 5 minutes of peace and contentment. Even in the midst of difficulties. I think God will do that much, if we ask.

Thanks, everyone!