Well, since I last wrote on this site in October, I went back to my boyfriend who I thought was emotionally abusive. I told him the only way I would be with him, is if he treated me fairly, respectfully, controlled his temper, etc. He promised me that he would never treat me that way again, gave me a million reasons, and told me he only wanted me to be happy with him. He lives over seas and wants me to move to Russia to be with him. My family and friends hate him. They know all the stunts he has pulled on me, the names he has called me, and how unstable he can be at times. He seems to have changed so much, he is religious now, tells me that he was living the wrong way, he wants to live right, and his days of partying and out of control behavior are over. I believe him, no one else does. Over the summer he waned nothing to do with me, he wanted to party with his friends, hang out at bars (that he owns), he wouldn't pick up my calls after 2am, never wanted to be with me (although he forbid me from going to bars), he was aweful to me. He knew that I was standing up in my bestfriends wedding and was very unsettled by this idea. So he paid $5,000 to have me followed by a team of investagators! They went into the wedding hall took pictures of me, followed me and my friends in a caar when we left. I got dropped off and went to sleep and he showed up at my friends boyfriends house where the rest of the group was hanging out looking for me. That's just one disturbing instince. So it's not surprising that my family and friends don't approve. Anyways he promised me that he would be fair and kind and watch his temper...until I pissed him off. It could be from the dumbest thing, like he said all muslims are terrorists, I happen to have two good friends that are muslim and they are anything but, I told hil that Al-Quida and those terrorist groups are radical groups and that I didn't agree all were bad. That upset him, he called me an Arab lover, go find an arab boyfriend and leave him alone, and sparked a 4 day fight. Just from me speaking my opinion. When he gets mad he talks to me like a stranger, like his enemy...not like someone he loves. And every fight, he makes it seem lie we are going to break up. That is not healthy, and not the way you act towards someone that you want to move to another country with you. I was doing so well when we were apart before, and now I am so deep in it again. I am questioning whether he is abusive again, cuz he has such normal periods where he is so rational and normal. He blames everything on me, and after a while I start to question myself, I even queston what is normal. Cuz, I don't think some of the things he says and the way he acts is normal, but now I really don't know what normal is. I just wish I got get the same treatment that I give him. ANd everytime I tell him I can't take anymore and how wrong and out of line he is, he says sorry, and the right things and tells me he will work on his temper, that I don't deserve it and that he will change. He blames everything on the distance and the phone. That if I was with him none of that would happen. I know long distance relationships are hard but I don't think I make you disrespectful or totally oblivious to your girlfriends feelings. Am I wrong? HE recently came home for five days, and everything was wonderful, he was amazing, and he kept telling me "see, this is how things will be when you move with me, this is how I really am". Now I am so confused, I want to believe him but deep down I think he is full of shit. I know it will probably only get worse. He is jealous, controlling, and he tells me its because he loves me. He tells me he reacts the way he does because he is so passionate and emotional for me. I love him and I want to be with him but something is telling me not to move. I know this all sounds crazy but i need some advice.
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