Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Is what he puts me through really abuse? He doesn't call me names, he does not hit me, doesn't put limits on where I can or can not go. He is a very angry person and is always saying that life, fate has it out for him. No one has as bad a life as he does. He works 24-7 and he gets no help from anyone. I am afraid that if I call an abuse hotline they will tell me that I am wasting their time with all the petty things and you are really not being abused. I read the book "Why Does He Do That" and I saw where some things could apply to him. He is condescending and really an asshole to me. He blames me for almost everything bad in his life. I don't work because when we had kids we made a decision about how he has a much larger earning potential then me plus I wanted to raise the kids not some day care. I homeschool also-he wanted that as well as I. He never lets me forget that I don't bring in any finanical contributions and it is because of him that I have a roof over my head, and food on the table and a (somewhat) warm house. When is it abuse and him just being an asshole? Are they one in the same?
I'd be very surprised if an abuse hotline would EVER tell someone they are wasting their time. If you feel abused, then in a sense you are. If it wasn't abuse, you'd talk to him about it, discuss what makes you feel bad, he'd listen and you'd both move on with a stronger base of understanding between you. It doesn't necessarily mean he'd never make you feel bad again, but you'd have no problem discussing with him, and he'd make a real effort to hear, understand, and change those "little" things.
The fact that you are here instead, suggests (although you don't say so) that you are unable to talk to him. Is that because he would belittle your concerns? Ignore them? Tell you they are either non-existent or too small?
I'm not sure what else to say, other than that in a lot of ways, it is not for someone else to label your relationship - only you can know what he does and how he reacts and feels.
For him not to value your contribution to your children and household via home schooling and housekeeping is abusive. Your job is just as valuable as his even though you are not bringing in income you are raising your children and holding down the fort.
Hugs to you for your pain...
One of the best things I heard through my ordeal of separating from my DH was from a friend who said that just being unhappy is a legitimate reason to divorce! Well, I wasn't brought up that way, but we do have only one life. Let's not waste it being miserable.
Hugs
You call it ------- DISRESPECT.
When you stood at the alter, what were the vows he took?
Did they include permission to show you a lifetime of disrespect?
For the record, to take vows to love, honor and cherish someone and then shower them with an hour, a week, a month, a year, a decade ------ a lifetime of disrepsect ------- is ABUSE.
[[[[[ FarandAway ---- does DH stand for "designated hitter?" hmmmmmmm. ]]]]]]]]
starshine ----- He is an abusive asshole.
How do you envision the rest of your life?