Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So my parents are here visiting for the weekend. We have not spoken in 6 months because of their bizarre support for my (and my children's) abuser, including calling me a liar and supporting him financially. I had prepped for this visit in therapy for months, and yesterday when they arrived we sat down and I explained very calmly and thoroughly why their behavior was unacceptable. I had them read through the restraining order we have against him detailing some of his abusive behavior. I was really proud of that, I couldn't have done that a year ago.
Anyway today, Saturday, we made plans to spend the afternoon together going out to lunch and doing some shopping and working in my garden. My mom just called and said they will be spending it with my ex instead.
They broke their plans with me to hang out with my abuser. :(
So here I am sitting home alone and feeling awfully rejected and angry and confused and it's terrible.
Anyway today, Saturday, we made plans to spend the afternoon together going out to lunch and doing some shopping and working in my garden. My mom just called and said they will be spending it with my ex instead.
They broke their plans with me to hang out with my abuser. :(
So here I am sitting home alone and feeling awfully rejected and angry and confused and it's terrible.
But I am so very proud of you for standing in your truth and presenting it in a calm and mature manner.
I agree w/Scarclan and I hope you do something really special for yoruself.
~lots of healing hugs~
Also, I'm trying not to judge. How did they raise such a decent daughter!?
I'm sorry, I know they are your parents. Not everyone should be parents.
You sure were brave and did the right thing in the name of you and your child(ren). I hope that your hurt eases soon. It shouldn't be bcz u did nothing wrong.
I worked on doing a whole lot of self-care. I called several friends and cried with them. I went out and got myself a beautiful pedicure with sparkles on my toes. I made myself eat a healthy veggie pasta for dinner even though I didn't feel like eating. Later on I cuddled my kids before bed. I thought about journaling but it was kind of overwhelming - maybe tomorrow.
Being around nice people who build me up when I feel bad about myself helps too. Thanks for doing that for me.
I'd already been aghast, when
I'd read your previous post
about your parents.
What your mother did yesterday,
----- PARTICULARLY after the
steps you took to lay out the
issues calmly and clearly -----
was utterly appalling.
I applaud you for
responding to this
heinous abuse
with meticulous
self-care.
Going forward,
you can know
that you did
everything right.
How your parents
are treating you
and your children
is about THEM
and their own
horribly damaged
psyches. I'm so
very sorry.
I'm just glad that
you already have
the support of a
therapeutic
relationship.
Please go on taking
good care of yourself.
It's great that you spoke up for yourself - that takes courage and bravery.
I know it is a hard blow, but please know that we get it, and totally believe and support you!
This actually turned out to have a better outcome. I posted about it in a new thread. I wouldn't have made it to that good point without this forum, though!