Saw my councilor today. she has arranged for me to see their solicitor next tuesday to get my divorce started. I feel glad to get things sorted now but i feel sad also. We had a long talk today and she listened to all ive told her, she said he is an abuser and its not him i miss. she said its the company i miss.
It is awful to think that all this has happened to me and i never saw it at the start.
I still at times miss him , but i think of the good times in the beginning and all the nice bits. I have to keep reminding myself how he controlled me and how he took a lot from me to.
I am also annoyed that my daughter doesnt seem to care about being part of this mess. she just wants money off me when i see her. I have told her that im not giving her money, but she turns up at my work on a daily basis when im cashing up. I now take all the notes out of the till early before she gets there. She has never worked and her boyfriend is the same. They spend their benefit money on who knows what as soon as they get it. I didnt go to work today because ive had enough of it. she thinks because i work , i got loads of money and i havent. Also my workplace is close to where she lives and to where my husband lives. she is about a mile to the left and he is about a mile to the right. I am bang smack in the middle of them. my home is further away. I am finding it so hard to cope with the both things. The two of them contributed a lot to this and im trying to mend things with my daughter and divorce my husband . She shows no remorse and is selfish , asking me for money and knowing what im going through. I love my daughter but i feel she cant love me to hurt me and still try and add to my pain by distressing me further.
I went to the doctor today, who wasnt a lot of help. Im already on anti depressants . I have had a pain in my head since sunday that wont go away. He said its probably stress and told me to rest. waste of time he was