Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
TW FOR ANYONE W/ AN EATING DISORDER
my mother was abusive to me in my childhood. around the time she began verbally abusing me, at 11, i began binge eating. bshe and i dieted together, and my ED and the abuse just escalated. i didn't know i was ill as a kid. EDNOS wasn't discussed in school then. (sad, since i only graduated high school 5 years ago.) anyway, it was my "normal" then. i woke up to the reality of it 2 years ago.
it is the opinion of many of my loved ones that the abuse caused my ED. i can't say that since i had negitive and unhealthy thoughts about myself from before all that started.
still, i have kept it from her. i did this thinking that ignorance is bliss. i did not want to hurt her because i knew she'd want details if i told her. she would want to know how it all started. and i did not want to give her the idea that i'm blaming her. i also don't want our now pleasent interactions to turn into "fallon, are you eating? are you chewing/spitting? bingeing? starving? dieting?" no thanks, mom. i have an excellent treatment team, and i'm about to add to it. i'm going to ask my NP for a nutritionist at my next appointment.
but i feel like i should say SOMETHING since the EDNOS article i wrote is being published this month in an online magazine. i am very proud of it. i want to tell the world. but i am terrifiedof of us fighting. i want her to see it and be proud. but i'm afraid we'll fight. us fighting =binge eating for mr. please help!-fallon
my mother was abusive to me in my childhood. around the time she began verbally abusing me, at 11, i began binge eating. bshe and i dieted together, and my ED and the abuse just escalated. i didn't know i was ill as a kid. EDNOS wasn't discussed in school then. (sad, since i only graduated high school 5 years ago.) anyway, it was my "normal" then. i woke up to the reality of it 2 years ago.
it is the opinion of many of my loved ones that the abuse caused my ED. i can't say that since i had negitive and unhealthy thoughts about myself from before all that started.
still, i have kept it from her. i did this thinking that ignorance is bliss. i did not want to hurt her because i knew she'd want details if i told her. she would want to know how it all started. and i did not want to give her the idea that i'm blaming her. i also don't want our now pleasent interactions to turn into "fallon, are you eating? are you chewing/spitting? bingeing? starving? dieting?" no thanks, mom. i have an excellent treatment team, and i'm about to add to it. i'm going to ask my NP for a nutritionist at my next appointment.
but i feel like i should say SOMETHING since the EDNOS article i wrote is being published this month in an online magazine. i am very proud of it. i want to tell the world. but i am terrifiedof of us fighting. i want her to see it and be proud. but i'm afraid we'll fight. us fighting =binge eating for mr. please help!-fallon
1) she will validate you
or
2) she will invalidate you
As the risk of your healing, I would let it go and if she should see the article then fine. If she wants to talk about it fine. But the minute she excuses, invalidates, whatever is when the conversation should stop.
Now that you are healing, boundaries have to be set to protect that.
Good luck to you and congrats on the article.
on your journey to
health and wellbeing.
I'm with Tame. If your
mother sees it, she sees
it. I wouldn't share it with
her. Abusers don't change.
You've moved to a healthier
place, but if I were a bettin'
woman, I'd put money on
her NOT having changed.
The probability that her
interaction with you over
matters like that, will NOT
be validating or nourishing.
Good luck and healing prayers
in all you do, going forward.